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I pretty much have no family anymore, but that's alright because I have my chosen family.
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We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.
Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.
Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.
Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.
Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
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- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
I pretty much have no family anymore, but that's alright because I have my chosen family.
So, I have a chosen sister, who lives in Canada, but that's really all I have when everything's said and done, I haven't picked up "my mother's" phone calls in over several months, which I'm not proud of even though it's been a big relief. Although, should I move out, my grandmother I will never talk to again, my biological father's still mostly absent. I'm moving on, if they don't want to accept me as their daughter/granddaughter/niece/sister, then so be it, I don't accept them as my family. I mean even if it sounds petty, there's other reasons, the abuse, the manipulation, the yelling,the screaming, the gaslighting, the trauma I carry with me. I'm burning bridges and cutting the weight of "my family.", whatever it takes.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
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- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9687
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: I pretty much have no family anymore, but that's alright because I have my chosen family.
I'm sorry that you -- like so freaking many of us who are LGBTQ -- have found yourself unaccepted by your blood relatives. But I am so glad that -- also like many of us -- you are starting to find a way to make your own family, a family made of people who do accept you, and hopefully go even beyond that, who love and celebrate you.
I don't think it's petty to decide to stop trying to get acceptance from people who won't accept us, or to stop acknowledging people as family who refuse to BE family. I think that most of the time, rather, it's very necessary and vital self-care. It really, really wears us down to keep trying to make people be our family who say they are -- and often who keep up with the parts of it that benefit them -- but don't do the things people in a family are supposed to do, the most basic of which is acceptance and not abusing one another. This isn't about being petty. This is about self-love. That's a good thing, a healthy thing.
I don't think it's petty to decide to stop trying to get acceptance from people who won't accept us, or to stop acknowledging people as family who refuse to BE family. I think that most of the time, rather, it's very necessary and vital self-care. It really, really wears us down to keep trying to make people be our family who say they are -- and often who keep up with the parts of it that benefit them -- but don't do the things people in a family are supposed to do, the most basic of which is acceptance and not abusing one another. This isn't about being petty. This is about self-love. That's a good thing, a healthy thing.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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