Faith and Sexuality

[Sam W]

What have been your experiences between your religion/spirituality in relation to your sexuality, or to things like your sexual orientation or gender identity? I know the two are not always compatible, so if you've got some horror stories, you're welcome to share those. And if you've got some stories or thoughts that show that faith and sexuality are not always at odds, lets hear those (and anything in between as well).

For my own part, I was skeptical for a long time about my own personal beliefs around sex ever fitting within a religious framework. And I had an adversarial view of a lot of religion because it always seemed to be condemning ideas or people I cared for. Many faith groups still do. But, my partner began attending a Quaker meeting while we were in college, I started going with him. I was in a car with a group of them when someone asked where I worked (I was working as a campus sex educator). I answered and then braced myself for the response. The response was "is that the place that makes those "I know where my clitoris is buttons?" Because those rock!"

Not what I was expecting, but I was thrilled to find a faith space where I did not feel like I had to hide what I do. As of now, I've helped them run a sex education workshop for the teens. It was interesting to see how they applied the values of their faith community (like acceptance, respect for the difference in life experiences, etc) to talking about sex and sexuality. It was nice to see a religious viewpoint used to celebrate the diversity of sexual identity and encourage things like communication and boundaries rather than see it used as tool for shaming people.

[TexasEric]

Hi Sam - our family is very religious and I still don't know how to work and balance things out. I bounce from "I am horny and don't care" to having serious guilt feelings. Our home is very modest and "proper". I have a friend from church that seems like his home is lots more laid back about stuff. I went on a vacation with them last summer and that his parents were cool about him being in just briefs and a T-shirt before bed or in the mornings - I was amazed. That would never be tolerated in our house. His mom and sister tanned topless and at times it was obvious his mom didn't wear a bra. Was just neat being in a situation where everyone knew some people had penises and some didn't and bodies were just bodies. When I have a family I am sure gonna be more laid back about stuff.