Scarleteen

Hello,
This is a little embarrassing. But I could really use some help or advice. I had gastric bypass three years ago and as I lost weight in other areas of my body I didn’t on my vaginal area if that makes sense. It still looks like I’m 350 which I’m not anymore. I have bought several sex toys and I am unable to orgasm. That is my first problem. I’m still a bit to chubby and short armed to reach my hands all the way down there in my vaginal hole. My clitoris is there but it’s considered an inny or a hidden/tucked in clitoris. Once I start to feel good and whatever I’m doing feels good I all of a sudden get an urge to stop. And so I stop and I lose that feel good feeling. It’s almost like I start to orgasm but I get that urge to stop and it goes away. I’m so frustrated. I really would like to reach an orgasm. I just don’t know. I don’t have a partner and want to learn this on my own. I’ve tried Porn, sex toys, different positions, and etc. I feel broken and it makes me insecure. Please if you have any tips or anything that would be great. I didn’t know if there was a doctor that could do some actual organs tests or something on me/my vagina like a sex or orgasm doctor. But when I talked to by Gynecologist she referred me to a sec therapist and that didn’t helo at all. I need someone to look at my situation and guide me. If you have any tips or anything or sex you suggestions that would be great. I’m still a virgin and don’t have a partner. Thank you for your help.

Hi Ejsisman,

I'm sorry to hear this situation is causing you so much frustration. When you say you get a sudden urge to stop when things start feeling good, does it seem to be more a mental urge or a physical one? For instance, some people's bodies start sending the signal that some part of them is being overstimulated or has gotten too sensitive and so stimulation needs to stop, while other people may struggle with masturbation because there's something the voice inside their head is saying to them that makes them feel like they need to stop.

You've already taken some sound steps in going to see your healthcare provider and trying out the sex therapist. Can I ask what the therapist recommended and why you didn't find it worked for you?