I am attracted to women who are older than me. What do I do?

[avavanbu]

Hi.
I am a panromantic Lesbian. I am sexually attracted to 2 women 10 years and 22 years older than me. I am worried for my health and my emotional state. I have gotten my heart broken, and I have a slight obsession with the women I love. And I know you might not think it's love, but I do love them. Given my emotional state, I feel like I need them. My father left a heavy feeling of guilt in my heart. He is Emotionally abusive and he scares me when he yells. He makes me feel like nothing. Like a pile of shit and don't deserve to be accepted, so I look for an extra role model. And recently have had feelings for some of them. I don't know what to do and am scared for what my mind will do next.

[Sam W]

Hi avavanbu,

I'm sorry these feelings are leaving you with so much fear and worry. We can definitely dive into talking about them, but before we do so I want to check on the situation with your dad. Do you still live with him, or still have contact with him at all?