"just the tip"

Questions and discussion about sex and sexuality in political or community beliefs, principles, actions, policies, experiences, messages and media.
al
not a newbie
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"just the tip"

Unread post by al »

I came across something the other day on social media that really bothered me - it was an image shared by a prominent instagram account run for and by masculine-of-center people of color, most of whom identify as dykes/butches/bois/genderqueer in some way. The image (I guess you might call it a meme) said:
"Let me just kiss it" is the lesbian version of "just the tip"
Underneath, it said something like, ^^no lies detected!! :lol: :lol:

It took me a second to figure out what exactly it meant, and once I did, I was left with a really sour taste in my mouth. To break it down a bit, it was asserting that "just the tip" is something that a male might suggest to his female sexual partner, and then once he's inserted a bit, he tries to progress or push for full intercourse, and that "let me just kiss it" is the lesbian equivalent, except with oral sex. I wasn't even familiar with this concept in the first place - is this a common joke among straight people? (Not that PIV sex can only happen between straight people, mind you).

The whole thing felt so gross - the idea of proposing a sexual activity to try to get someone to go further than what they originally agreed to feels so manipulative. I mean, it is manipulative. And I was even more disappointed that this was coming from a page run for and by black and brown queer and trans people (read:woke?), who I would hope would have a better understanding than most of how misogyny and rape culture are intimately intertwined, and how healthy, respectful communication doesn't involve coercion. I thought about commenting on it, but there were about a dozen people already in the comments agreeing and responding positively, and I got overwhelmed at the thought.

Does the frustration I feel towards this post and/or this page make sense?
Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully
Heather
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Re: "just the tip"

Unread post by Heather »

There's not enough "not cool, man" in the world for this. :(
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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