Scarleteen

So, I apoligise if this post comes off as confusing but I need to get advice and get this off of my chest.

Earlier this year I came out as trans male.
For four years i have had feelings of not resonating with the gender in which i was assigned at birth (female).

I had increasing distress with the way i expressed myself and the way people viewed me physically. This led me to the ultimate conclusion that i was male and i felt happy with that identity.
Coming out to friends and family was easy and something that made me feel happier in everyday life.
I met my current boyfriend who identifies as trans male and everything felt right. I got my hair cut a month after, ordered my first binder, changed my name legally and started my journey so that one day i could medically transition asap.

It has been eight months since and i am starting to question how i feel. I have stopped wearing my binder around the house and started to express my femininity.
I truly beleive that i experienced gender dysphoria but not so much anymore. I am whole heartedly scared and confused because if his means i truly need to de-transition then i dont know how i will cross this with my peers and family let alone myself. I have been told these feelings can be fairly normal but i feel uncomfortable expressing myself as fully male and dont want to just 'wait it out'

hey!

i'm also a trans guy and i think we all feel like this at some point or another. expressing femininity doesn't necessarily mean you're not male, it just means you're cool embracing your feminine side. however, if you're not comfortable expressing as fully male, you could experiment to find what feels comfortable, that way you don't have to come to a conclusion yet. you could wear more traditionally feminine things in public and see how you feel, or combine feminine with masculine things and see how it feels. dysphoria doesn't usually disappear unless you transition via hormones / surgery (depending on how far one wants to go), but it can change over time, so that could be the case. or i could be wrong, i'm speaking for myself and what others have told me. ultimately, it's up to you to decide how you feel, and if you think it's the right choice to detransition that's completely valid and i'm sure your peers and family would accept you! either way, i hope you find closer as soon as possible but know that it's okay to experiment, so no matter what happens, you're valid and it's okay. <3

*closure, not closer

Hi ftmxoxo,

Dysphoria, and identifying as trans, varies so much from person to person that it can sometimes make it difficult to figure out how your own identity and experiences fits into the whole picture. I will say that there are some trans men who find there are parts of traditionally "feminine" gender expression that they enjoy. Likewise, there are some trans men who find there are elements of the transition process that don't feel necessary for them (for instance, one person may be totally fine never having bottom surgery, another with never going on HRT, etc). All of those experiences are valid, and none of them mean that the person was somehow incorrect in identifying as trans. Can you give me a little more detail on what you mean when you say you've started expressing your femininity? What does that look like?

Too, some people who start exploring their gender identity find that a non-binary identity, such as genderqueer or genderfluid, fits them best. Have you had a chance to read about those identities and see if and how they compare to what you're feeling right now?