Scarleteen

I was just wondering if there is a way to get myself wet without using lube. Also, I was wondering if body lotion would work as a substitute since I don't have lube and I haven't told my mother that I masturbate sometimes.

So there's not one reliable way of making your body get wet. It's something that often builds as you get aroused over a period of time but not always and not to the same extent for everyone. Giving yourself a little more time to get fully relaxed and aroused may help.

In terms of getting hold of lube, there are no age restrictions on buying it in the US and you may be able to get samples from a healthcare provider without having to talk to your mother about it. If these are an option for you and you want to find out more, check this out: Lube 101: A Slick Little primer

I would be cautious using body lotion as a substitute, as it may well contain ingredients that don't go well with a vulva/vagina, particularly if scented etc. Some people find natural oils such as olive oil a reasonable substitute but that varies person to person. Also, it doesn't measure up to store-bought lube but plenty of people find that saliva helps a little, and if it's your own doesn't come with STI transmission risks.

Hi Siân,

I don't think I have anyway of getting to my healthcare provider unless I talk to my mother.

Got it, then you may have to try buying some at a grocery store or drug store, if that's an option available to you and you have somewhere discrete to store it where your mom is unlikely to find it.

Just as an aside, given your age there are likely ways for you to arrange visits to a healthcare provider without your mom. If that's something you want to talk about for the future, we can give you some basics on how to start learning to manage your own healthcare.

Sam W wrote:Got it, then you may have to try buying some at a grocery store or drug store, if that's an option available to you and you have somewhere discrete to store it where your mom is unlikely to find it.

Just as an aside, given your age there are likely ways for you to arrange visits to a healthcare provider without your mom. If that's something you want to talk about for the future, we can give you some basics on how to start learning to manage your own healthcare.

I would love to hear those basics.

Okay! To start out with, this article does a really good job breaking down the steps to go through to find a provider and access care: Dealing With Doctors: Taking Control of Your Health Care Destiny

Some basic things to consider include: what is your insurance situation, what are your options in terms of transportation (that could include a parent being willing to at least give you a ride), and what type of care provider you're trying to access. Do you feel like you know where to start looking for that information?

I have no idea on where to start looking for that kinda information.

As far as insurance goes, a first step could be asking your mom what insurance your family uses to access care (or if you have insurance, period, since some people are not able to access it). Then, based on what you find out, you could do an internet search for healthcare providers in your area that accept people in your insurance situation. Does that sound doable?

As far as type of provider, that's thinking about things like whether you need to see a general practitioner (like a family doctor) or someone who focuses on a specific area (like a OB-GYN). The article on dealing with doctors goes into it in a lot of detail on how to determine who you might need to see.

I know my family uses Green Mountain Care. I will do a little bit of research later.

My mom found out that i masturbate. She looked through my messages with my boyfriend and saw the question "Do you masturbate?" on it and asked me what my response to it was.

Ooof, that sounds like a stressful thing to have a parent ask you. How do you feel like that conversation/ exchange went? And does she go through your phone often?

She does look through my messages frequently and I don't think that conversation went very well seeing as she said that she is embarrassed of me now. And that I'm also probably grounded.

Your Mom said that you grounded? Was that because of the masturbation, or because you were talking about it with your boyfriend, or because of something else?

You've probably figured out that we here at Scarleteen don't think masturbation is embarrassing or bad.

How do you feel about it after the conversation with your mom?