Scarleteen

Is the pull-out method just as effective as others?

Nope. It's one of the least effective methods. Withdrawal (pulling out) and spermicides used alone are the two least effective methods of preventing pregnancy: the two that fail more often than the others.

Would you like information on how to make that method more effective or on using more effective methods, period?

Yes please, I need more information on both.

You got it.

So, if you want to use withdrawal, the way to make it more effective is to use it with another method. That's true of nearly all methods: the most effective way to prevent pregnancy is dual contraception, using TWO methods. But it's particularly important when using any of the less effective methods. Of course, since almost every other method is considerably more effective, you may find you don't want to use withdrawal anymore once you have other, more effective methods in the mix, you know?

Per other methods, are there any you're particularly wanting to know about? Why is withdrawal what you're using or thinking about using? Knowing that might help me best direct you to more effective alternatives that could work for you and be in line with what you want in a method.

My partner “claims” that it feels better for him. But I do know that there are some risks, like STDs or STIs. And I just came to a thought that I couldn’t get pregnant due to irregular periods. So that’s why we use the pull-out method. I was on combination birth control pills to regulate my periods but I didn’t like the side effects the hormones were giving me.

Hi Iamunique,

Just dropping in to address a few points. I hope I can help.

With condom comfort: Has your partner tried more than one size/shape condom, and used lube? Because it is a great method of birth control, and protection against STI transmission. If you would prefer they use a condom but they refuse you do not need to compromise.

It's also worth saying that irregular periods do not mean that you can't get pregnant. Lots of people make mistakes about their own fertility, because of the expectation that getting pregnant is super easy. Actually it can be difficult to guess. So we should assume that you are just as capable of becoming pregnant as anyone else.

I also wonder if you have considered any other birth control methods like an IUD, or the Vaginal Ring they would both involve lower doses of hormones in your body than the pill and could be worth investigating.

I haven’t considered any other birth control methods because of the horror stories. Especially horror stories about the IUDs. I also plan to abstain from sex for a while because it gives me these crazy symptoms.

If sex is not feeling like the right thing for you, then abstinence is the most effective way of preventing pregnancy or STI transmission, and probably the best for your mental health too if it's stressing you out. Do you want to talk about the symptoms you say you're experiencing with sex? I'm not sure what you mean by that.

If or when you decide to start engaging in sexual activity again, it sounds like for your own peace of mind it would be good to have a plan in place for birth control. What do you think of Jacob's suggestion of trying alternative types of condom with lube?

I get that choosing a birth control method can be intimidating, and plenty of people try a couple before finding the thing that works for them. If you have particular worries, we can talk through them and try to figure out what might be a good choice for you?

I just want to mention that not only are there horror stories for literally every method, there are even more about pregnancy. And many of those stories are not representative of how things usually go with any given method, and often those stories aren't even factual, or leave out pertinent information (like, for example, that an IUD complication wasn't actually because of an IUD, but because of not using condoms, getting an STI and then not treating it).

So, those stories are usually a very poor way to make choices about something as important as birth control and family planning. Your better bet is to stick to broader, more credible information.

I may make an appointment with my gynecologist to see if I could find a good birth control method for me. But other than that sex is painful for me, it seems like I’m dry. And afterwards I have a hard time urinating.

Are you also asking for help with those other two things?

If so, for starters, if you feel very dry, that's likely at least part of any pain you're having. Are you being sure to always start with plenty of lubricant, and then adding more as needed? Other reasons for pain can be an underlying infection or other health condition, having sex when you're not really wanting it or turned on, or a partner being too aggressive or rough.

Having trouble urinating afterwards suggests that you may have a urinary infection (and be sure to get checked out -- those need treating or can spread to the kidneys and get dangerous), or that you are experiencing irritation of your urinary tract (again, that can be due to not being lubricated enough). Condoms can help prevent UTIs, too, just so you know.

Thanks for all of the replies, I surely will consider trying lubricant & making sure I use protection more.

Great! It sounds like a visit to the gynecologist is also a really good idea. Do you want to talk about what to expect? Or anything else?