Don't feel anything when I masturbate.

[siberianunicorn]

Hi! I'm sorry for such a strange question, but recently, I started masturbating by fingering myself (before I used the shower and masturbated in the bathtub with water, without really touching myself, because it grosses me out putting my fingers inside of myself), but I don't really feel anything, I'm not aroused either. Is this a problem or something?
Oh by the way, I used the back of a pen with a condom (did it while I was in the bathtub), but still didn't feel anything. I'm afraid to use a cucumber, because I think it's too big for me haha :d
Is my sensibility low or something? I just feel strange about it.
Thank you in advance

[Jacob]

Hi siberianunicorn!

Actually, feeling that way, with what you've been trying, is completely fine... there's no rulebook that says what physical action should feel good or bad.

The missing piece here is arousal. That's our bod's way of telling us what feels good, and how to do it. It's something you reach by learning about your body, and what ideas, images, and sensations turn you on (like the non-touching bathtub stuff!).

If your starting point is doing something that doesn't feel good, you may get kinda stuck! Putting even bigger stuff inside you probably won't help either!

We have a great article here about sexual anatomy which could be really helpful for you:

With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

I'm thinking reading about the clitoris could be helpful for you.

Thanks for coming by!

[siberianunicorn]

Hi Jacob! Thank you for the information you have given me, but I kind of didn't understand what you meant by saying "feeling that way, with what you've been trying, is completely fine...". Could you please explain this?

[Jacob]

Hi,

No worries!

Sorry for not being clearer. I meant that there's no issue with not enjoying insertion, as there's no 'right way' to feel/not-feel pleasure.

[siberianunicorn]

Thank you for explaining!

[brightsun]

I can get aroused and lubricated but I don't enjoy masturbating, it doesn't pleasure me or "get it out of my system" - and I don't understand why. It used to but I am bored now - do you know why?

[stangot7]

Hi! I'm sorry for such a strange question, but recently, I started masturbating by fingering myself (before I used the shower and masturbated in the bathtub with water, without really touching myself, because it grosses me out putting my fingers inside of myself), but I don't really feel anything, I'm not aroused either. Is this a problem or something?
Oh by the way, I used the back of a pen with a condom (did it while I was in the bathtub), but still didn't feel anything. I'm afraid to use a cucumber, because I think it's too big for me haha :d
Is my sensibility low or something? I just feel strange about it.
Thank you in advance

hello! i am 14 and i have been trying to get pleasure out of fingering (hate that word) myself since i was about 11, but that still does not work! i wouldnt really reccomend shoving things up your vagina as they could be unsanitary, and could lead to infections. i too used to do the same, but i had given up and i used to thing i was doing something wrong or my vagina was well, broken. to gain pleasure you should probably try curling your fingers (read it somewhere) to try hit your g-spot, but if that still does not work id stick to just your clitoris as its probably more likely you will get more pleasure from that then sticking a cucumber up your vagina

[Alice O]

Hey stangot,

Thanks for sharing about your experience

A reminder to you, siberiaunicorn, and almost everyone out there who has a vulva: getting pleasure from your vagina is not in anyway "better" or "superior to" getting pleasure from your clitoris A lot of us have that thinking because that is often the messaging we get from our culture. But that comes from a super male-focused, heternormative idea of sexual pleasure--that women's genitals' primary purpose is to have sexual intercourse with a penis (or to give birth to a baby). When in reality, while g-spot stimulation and other vaginal stimulation feel great for lots of people, there is a lot more to sexual pleasure than just the vagina! For example, most people need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, they can't orgasm just from vaginal insertion.

This has some more great info, would highly recommend: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body.