Is there anyone who overcame this?

[imsogay]

So ever since i started masturbating, i never felt anything, but i kept doing it in hopes that itll feel like smth after a while. unfortunately i still dont feel anything, so i searched it up multiple times, and found out that its normal for ppl to not feel anything, and theyll eventually feel smth later on. But my question is, are there any people who used to be like me, but are now able to feel pleasure after a while. if so, how long did it take for you to feel pleasure? I currently have a gf and i can never enjoy sex, and it makes me really frustrated.

[Sam W]

Hi imsogay,

I'm sorry to hear this is causing you so much frustration. I just wanted to chime in briefly to ask if, in those other accounts you read, people talked about the different things they tried that ended up making masturbation pleasurable, or if they presented it more as a "one day it didn't feel like anything, the next day it felt good" process?

[imsogay]

whenever i searched up about not feeling anything, it always said that it was normal, and its like that cuz the nerves arent connected or smth? and overtime youll be able to feel pleasure after getting used to it, or after some time has passed. none of the places ive read, have actually had real life people tell their experiences with it, and say that they used to be like that, and after some time passed, are able to feel pleasure. they would also talk about not being aroused might be the problem, but for me, no matter how aroused i am, fingering or any clitoral stimulation does not feel like anything. at most, after a long time of clitoral stimulation, my legs go numb, but thats all.

[Heather]

This likely isn't a nervous system issue unless you LITERALLY are not feeling things on places of your body when you are being touched.Like, someone is touching you, and you could not even know it because you can't feel their hand there.

Can you say a little more about what you mean when you say it "doesn't feel like anything?" Do you mean it doesn't feel very exciting or interesting? That it doesn't feel like you expected? That you feel aroused, but then when you touch yourself or someone else does, genitally, it doesn't feel good? Does it feel good or do you experience pleasure when, at those times, other parts are being touched, like if you're kissing, for instance?

Can I also check in and ask about the rest of your health? Any current illnesses, including anything like depression or anxiety? Do you generally have a hard time experiencing pleasure -- emotionally or physically -- or is this only an issue sexually?

[imsogay]

for example, if i were to put my finger inside my vagina i would feel no pleasure, and all i would feel is the tightness from how tight my vagina is. my gf has also tried touching me, to see if it would work if she does it, but its as if there are no fingers inside (she has small fingers while i have quite big fingers), even if i were aroused, fingering and clitoral stimulation dont feel like anything whatsoever. kissing feels good, i enjoy kissing my gf. i feel no pleasure from having my breasts touched (i also searched this up and apparently its normal for some women to not feel pleasure). the only kind of mental illness i may have is social anxiety, but i dont think it is a problem in terms of me not feeling pleasure. since whenever i were to try masturbating, would be when the house is empty, therefore i dont see any type of anxiety of ppl walking in, affecting it. i would also like to add that the only times i feel pleasure masturbating would be if i were to grind, but if i were to do that, the pleasure would die down and vanish in about 30 seconds and i would only end up feeling nothing in the end :/

[Heather]

Thanks for that information, that's helpful. Two more questions, if you don't mind:

1) Do you feel a strong sense of sexual desire, and feel it physically, not just mentally or emotionally? In other words, do you have feelings in your mind and in your body of deeply *wanting* sex (of any given kind, of even just touch) alone or with others? Is it something you ever feel like you can feel in your muscles or your skin?

2) What about pleasure or satisfaction you do or don't get from touching someone else? Do you experience pleasure or satisfaction from touching your girlfriend's body, for instance, from being part of her sexual experiences?

[imsogay]

1) my libido recently has not been high, since whenever my gf and i have "sex" its only my gf on the recieving end, since i cannot feel any pleasure, so ive kinda grown out of really wanting it., instead of wanting sex, now i just want to spend time with her, making out, cuddling, etc, without touching those areas. its not that i have a deep desire to have sex, its just that i just really want to be able to feel pleasure whenever i were to engage in it with my gf, and also if i were to masturbate.

2) i greatly enjoy touching my gf, since it makes her feel good, and making her feel good makes me happy. it makes me aroused but i can never act upon it, since i cannot feel anything.

[Sam W]

It sounds like you're simply not experiencing a lot of desire right now (and that's okay!) So, it might actually be helpful to take a break from masturbation or doing anything where you're super-focused on trying to create sexual pleasure in yourself. Trying to experience pleasure when desire isn't in the mix is an exercise in frustration, not to mention that when you get super focused on trying to create a certain outcome from sex or masturbation, the added pressure usually decreases the chances of you enjoying yourself. Does that make sense?

If you did shift your focus away from this issue for awhile, do you think you'd still want to engage in activities where your partner is enjoying themselves sexually?

[imsogay]

ill def try taking a break from masturbation, thank you, that makes sense. tho ive had this problem since i first started masturbating (which was at a pretty young age) and ive just never felt anything from fingering and clitoral stimulation. i was never frustrated about it, since i didnt care, but since i got a gf, and began sexual activity, was when i first started getting quite frustrated, since i wanted to experience the great pleasure she would feel. so i dont think me being frustrated is why its affecting it more, since ive had this problem, even when i wasnt frustrated.

i would def still want to engage in sexual activity with my gf, but since both of our desires for acc sex is low atm, we will be holding off on it, and we will only be doing things like kissing, until we want to do it.

[Sam W]

It sounds like you and she are on the same page in terms of what you want to do sexually right now, which is great!

Is there anything else you'd like support around or information on right now?

[imsogay]

it was great talking to ppl about it, so thank you all for replying, but if there are any ppl on the forum who used to be like me, but are now not, it would be great if anyone could tell me their experience with it.