Scarleteen

Recently I´ve been thinking that having a partner would be a healthy and pleasant idea. What I find difficult is that I've never had (and still) strong feelings towards someone to the point of engaging into a relationship. Being virgin, I often feel desperate of having sexual intercourse, and that´s the main reason I think it would be a good approach.

I´ve met attractive woman, but I think I wouldn´t give up most of my time and money to be a responsible partner. By rejecting that oportunity I´m giving up the chance of different pleasures and human needs, not only sexual, but emotional experiences such as kissing, licking or fondling. Most of those desires would be satisfied by paying a prostitute, so I´m seriously considering that option. A face to face conversation would work for a short term (friend s with benefits) relationship?

I think it would be selfish and dishonest trying to engage in a relationship just for sexual purpose, so that´s why I´m seeking advice of which steps would help my mood.

PD: I seeked advice in another site, and the staff suggested some articles of this website that I found helpful. Now I registered and I´m sure this will be helpful, too! I´m heterosexual male, 23.

Hi touchscreen,

I don't think it's selfish or dishonest to have a purely sexual relationship, provided everyone knows that's what it is, and just wants that. You're right, the best thing is to have a conversation at the beginning to check that the other person wants the same thing.

You said you don't want to give up most of your time and money to be a responsible partner. Not all romantic relationships are about spending money on eachother or spending all your time together. Being a responsible partner is about listening to what you need and what they need and being considerate - it is the same in a friends with benefits relationship too. Does that make sense?

You said you have read some of our articles already - what did you read and find useful?

You might also like these:
Casual...Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

These:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/gende ... n_okay_yep
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... on_healthy
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/polit ... casual_sex
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse ... ng_consent

Then, is it a good idea to have a first intercourse with a prostitute rather than a partner? Or it depends on personal feelings...?

It really depends on you! Having a sexual experience with a sex worker is likely to be different from having sex with a casual sexual partner but it's ok to go with either option. Some sex workers do focus more on an emotional connection with clients, and some don't, so if that's an important component of a sexual experience then that's something you can look into. You may also have luck using dating sites or apps that allow you to indicate that you have a preference for casual sex.