gendered expectations

Questions and discussions about gender, gender roles and identity.
al
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gendered expectations

Unread post by al »

What's something that is "traditionally expected" of your gender (or the gender that most people tend to read you as)? How does it affect how you move through the world, and how do you feel about it?

My friend and I were talking about this recently, and she said that she'd feel comfortable with me sharing that her sister (who is five years older than her) recently told her that her "instincts" would kick in soon, and that she would want to cook and clean and "take care of the house", as if that's something that's a natural for women. This was really surprising, as her sister is incredibly smart and very successful in her career - I wouldn't think that she would ascribe to that kind of expectation about a "woman's role".

Honestly, I have trouble answering this question for myself, because it's kind of hard for me to pin down my understanding of my own gender, much less what other people perceive it to be or how their expectations might affect me. Usually, I just try to get strangers and people in public to notice me and make commentary about my gender as little as possible.

What about you?
Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully
Sam W
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Re: gendered expectations

Unread post by Sam W »

Good question Al!

Because I'm a woman and am always read as such, I think the one I encounter most is the assumption that I want to have children, and that said children will be happening soon due to my age. They won't. Partner and I want to be foster parents eventually, ideally for older kids, but people assume any children entering the picture will be ones I give birth to (they don't ever consider the other options). But being pregnant is something I, personally have zero interest or desire to put my body through (I think pregnancy is an amazing process, and I know there are many people for whom it is a wanted state of being, but I actively recoil at the idea of being pregnant myself).
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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