I want to move on

[omnomnonny]

Idk if this is the right section buuuuut

Hi there, this isn’t a pregnancy scare because I’ve already ruled out that possibility (4 negative tests and 2 periods since) but rather just kind of a vent post to release my feelings? It’s kinda long but I don’t know where to turn to anymore because I feel like I’m a burden to my friends every time I bring this up.

So I had a scare about 2 months ago and I went full panic mode, noticing every little thing that was happening with my body and obsessing over everything that I thought I was feeling. I was also feeling really crappy about myself. Coming here to Scarleteen was a big help in keeping me calm and rationalizing things and making me realize that I really didn’t do anything that could pose a major risk of pregnancy. After all that I did end up getting my period and I felt a whole lot better.

The problem is I can’t stop hyperanalyzing my body. So now every slight cramp or pain that I feel, I immediately think something is wrong with me again even though I already have sound evidence to prove that I’m not. That feeling only got worse when I suddenly got two periods this month within one week of each other. I really would like to just move on and feel “normal” again but I don’t know how to stop obsessing over these “what if’s”.

I can’t exactly talk to my mom about this as she doesn’t even know I’ve had sex. So I’d like to know if anyone has any tips for moving on from a pregnancy scare, any advice would be appreciated.

[Heather]

What you'll usually need to do to move on is to figure out why you're stuck where you are.

Do you have any sense about the why of all this? This piece might help give you some ideas: You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You think You Are?

[omnomnonny]

I think it’s mainly because I feel like I don’t know what’s going on in my body anymore? I’ve always been in tune with the way my body feels and my cycles were pretty regular. Then suddenly after the scare things got kinda out of whack and now nothing feels normal. I’m getting random dull aches on the side of my pelvis area, bloating, constipation; all sorts of things that are normally not there but suddenly appeared after the scare. When something bothers me or gets me upset, I often obsess and over think it (which isn’t healthy, I know) which might also be why I’m feeling all these things idk.

I was reluctant to make a post about this at first because I felt like I would just be wasting your time, but thank you so much for replying

[Sam W]

Hi omnomnonny,

That's all really helpful to know, thank you! What do you think would help you start feeling like you understood what was going on in your body more? Or, alternately, might it be more helpful to learn how not to fixate on every unfamiliar or unusual sensation that moves through your body? While being in tune with how our bodies feel is really important, sometimes they ache and twinge a little and it's nothing to be concerned about.

Since you know that obsessing over things that upset you isn't healthy, you might find the resources in this article helpful: Anxiety and Other Mental Health Resources. That article includes resources for getting support from people trained to address anxiety, as well as self-help you can do right now to address the stress you're feeling.

[omnomnonny]

Yeah, I think learning not to fixate will be very helpful. But I’m not quite sure how to go about doing that. My friends have super supportive too, they help me not think about it. The problem is only when I’m alone because the only thing I can really focus on is myself :<

I checked out the link you sent me and am reading some of the resources to help me too, so thank you!

[Heather]

How about the next few times you’re alone and start focusing on this, you grab a way to write down your thoughts and write about why you think you’re in this spot and how you feel about it?

[omnomnonny]

Okay I will try that out. Thank you so much for all your advice!

[Heather]

Glad to help. I'm also happy to talk with you about this: it's generally much, much more productive to talk about why scares are happening and how you're feeling and what you can do to get past this than to talk about scares themselves!