Scarleteen

Hello! This is my first post. I’m a 14 year old male and masturbation isn’t doing anything for me. I’ve done it a good dozen times, and each time I don’t feel anything but slight disgust(slight). I do get somewhat aroused, and I’m pretty sure I’m orgasming(I’m ejaculating), but nothing feels good. All my friends do it an enjoy it, and this I haven’t seen anyone else with this problem(although they might exist).

This isn’t that unusual. It’s something we have had users of all genders post about. We can try and get to the bottom of it if you’d like.

If so, the first thing I’d ask is why you’re masturbating. You say it doesn’t feel good, and it sounds like you might mean emotionally and physically. That given, I’m wondering why it’s something you’re choosing to do in the first place?

It is my choice. Each time I go in full of optimism to feel something new and awesome, but I don’t get that feeling. I generally am happy with my life, but I’m worried about my sexual future.

Hi PowerPup!

I'll say that expectations can be quite a thing. When it comes to orgasms AND life.

There is no one right way to be sexual or experience pleasure... When you talk about your 'sexual future' it sounds like you feel that not feeling sexual pleasure the way you expected will be bad for you, far into the years to come (no pun intended). But, I imagine masturbation is something that will feel differently for you over time, and there's no reason that should have a negative impact on any of your interactions with other people.

I would say the basic enjoyment of things like masturbation is simply that they are an exploration. So rather than "I should be experiencing mind-blowing pleasure right now", when you get rid of expectations, it can be more like "Oh my body does this? Interesting!"

Does that help at all? Does it feel like expectations are playing a part?

I don’t really know. Maybe expectations are a something I’ve been thinking to much about. Regardless, thanks for your advice!

It sounds like you might still be feeling a little unsure about all of this.

If you want to unpack it some more, we're here.

I think the biggest thing, and Jacob and Heather both mentioned this, is that not all bodies do the same things or react the same ways - and that doesn't make anybody's body wrong, or bad in any way?

Thanks, I was nearly about to just give up on the subject. I’m wondering what more there is to this? My body is different and I’m cool with that, but maybe I would like to know why it might happen. I know there is only so much I can find out about this with only internet research, but does anyone have any bits of information they can share with me? Thanks.

Hi PowerPup,

We can certainly share some more information with you that might help you shed some light on what's going on with your body! To start out with, how about giving these pieces a read if you haven't already done so (they may not exactly match your situation, but they may offer some starting places): http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodie ... anguage=de
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... ut_of_town . Do any of the things mentioned in those articles jump out at you?

Too, can you give me a sense of what you've tried in terms of experimenting with different approaches to masturbation (positions, types of touch, media/fantasy, etc)?

(Half a year! Dang it) I’ve given the articles a good read, and I really enjoyed them! I’ve tried a few different things. I don’t find much of my body besides my penis to be very sensitive. I haven’t really experimented with positions besides standing and sitting. I’ve only used my hands, no external tools. And I’ve tried a few different media. I’ve some pornography with many different categories(I’m surprised at how much bad rapey stuff there is), I’ve tried short stories, and I’ve tried nothing at all. I seem to reach the point of ejaculation often, but no pleasure. Sometimes I feel ashamed and guilty (despite me knowing it’s perfectly ok, and there all of my family and friends agree), and other times I feel neutral, but never any degree of positive. Maybe it’s a mental thing, as many articles cite the brain as the most important organ for pleasure. I don’t think I’ve really been super aroused mentally as I haven’t had many of the arousal symptoms that don’t involve genitalia, and I haven’t had any fantasies. Thanks for listening to my short list.

Hi Powerpup,

Glad you enjoyed the articles! So, if you don't feel particularly positive or mentally aroused when you try masturbating, that may be a big part of why it isn't feeling super pleasurable. Are there things that you've encountered that mentally turn you on? Or can you not think of any instances where you were mentally aroused?