My Period

[AMarinesGirl]

Hi,
I have been sexually active with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I am on the Ortho Evra birth control patch and have been since September 16th of 2013. I am very consistent with the patch and always change it when needed. Most of the time we have sex we do not use a condom, but I am ALWAYS on the patch. Also, He Never cums inside of me. My boyfriend is currently deployed so I am currently off of the patch. I stopped using it a week after he left. The last time we had sex was September 14, 2014. We once again did not use protection, he did not cum inside of me, and it wast my PATCH OFF WEEK. I got my period from October 11-13 which I thought was shorter than normal. Although it was short, it was a lot heavier than usual. This period was my first being off the patch. My next period was supposed to start on 11/8/2014, but it still has not started. Im wondering if i can be pregnant. Im really scared because he's not due home for another 7 months. He says he believes im fine, since i got my period last month, but I dont know what to think. Please help

[Heather]

So, as you know, your patch alone doesn't provide 100% protection against pregnancy, but around 91 - 99%. Adding withdrawal gives you even more protection, but that still isn't 100%, because alas, we don't have that method yet.

But again, it would be very unlikely. Your patch is just as effective during the off week as the active weeks, so long as you only take that break for seven days and put your next patch on on time.

People using hormonal methods still can have variances in periods/withdrawal bleeds like people off of them, and those variances often have nothing to do with pregnancy.

However, if your withdrawal bleed (the kind of "period" people using methods like the patch have) is more than a week overdue (which it is not yet, and when we say that, we mean more than a week after the LATEST day you would expect it), then it is a good rule of thumb, when anyone is having the kinds of sex that can create a pregnancy, to take a test just to be sure. I'd also just be sure you are current with your STI tests since you are engaging in sex without using condoms sometimes.

[Sam W]

Edit: Cross-posted with Heather

Hi Amarinesgirl,

So, if you had a period after the incident you're worried about, then you can assume you're not pregnant. However, the way to confirm that assumption is to take a pregnancy test.

I do want to check, are you both up to date on your STI testing? And out of curiosity, is there a particular reason you two prefer not to use condoms?

[AMarinesGirl]

I have never had an STI testing because he is the first person ive been with. He has test through the military, but I dont know to what extent. Sometimes we dont use them because it feels better without. When I did have my period in october it only lasted a full 2 days when normally its 3-4. As I mentioned before, although it only lasted 2 day it was heavier than it has ever been since before i was on the patch. Deep down i feel like im ok because my "period came around the time it was supposed to in october. It was a day late then. It going on day 2 this time and nothing has come. Im sorry if im repeating myself. just him being in a different country doesnt help. Could weight gain affect my period?

[Heather]

Just so you know, in general, everyone needs to be tested, not just one partner. And full STI screenings are not routinely done for those in the military as part of being in the military. So, maybe it's time for both of you to just get started getting your testing? It's important.

Again, since you are not even late yet, let's not focus on why you're late when...well, you're not. How about if instead you just wait this out at least a few more days to see, then test if you are still worried, and then just figure out if you feel okay about your contraception (and safer sex) choices moving forward, or if you think you'd feel better adjusting them some, like perhaps swapping withdrawal for condoms and just learning to use them in the way that feels good (like always using plenty of extra lube, picking the thinnest style of condoms or using non-latex, etc.)?

[AMarinesGirl]

Him and I probably need to talk when he gets back. I just had a question, you said that im not even late yet. What makes you say that. My last one was october 11-13 and my cycle is usually 28 days. Unless im calculating wrong, I even have a period tracker app. I greatly value your input

[Heather]

A "late" period is one generally medically defined as a period that comes at least five days later than the LATEST you would expect it. As well, even on methods like the patch or pill, people often have a standard cycle deviation of a couple days.

You said you expected it on the 8th. Even if that is the very latest you'd expect it, it is only the 10th, so it's not been five days past. Make sense?

[AMarinesGirl]

yeah, it does. so what date should i begin to worry if it still hasnt come

[Heather]

Like I said, I would suggest waiting at least another few days, but if it gets to around a week later, than it'd be a sound time to test.

[AMarinesGirl]

thank you for all of your help. I feel a little better now

[Heather]

No trouble. And if you ever want to talk about using condoms in the ways that make them feel good -- and also would make it very unlikely you yourself would feel them being used at all -- so you can back up your patch with something both more foolproof AND that gives you protection from infections, give a shout!