Scarleteen

Dear staff,

recently I have been enjoying my body a lot, but because of this I have created a fear.

I feel like when I do masturbate I come to quickly. When I go fast it is within a minute or so and even when I go slow I am done in five.
it has died down, I first understood masturbation at the age of 13 (I was dared to watch porn and well) and back then even touching it was a close call. Now I need to put in a bit more effort but still.

I am still a virgin so I don't know if it is the same when i do have sex, I have tried some inward action but i don't enjoy it.
Now the fear is that when I do eventually get with a guy I will come to fast, because when I do it I need to take a brake of 5 minutes otherwise I just come quicker. So that wont be enjoyable for me or him...

Is this something to worry about? Can I do something about it?

please help, I have noone to ask this to.

Hi

Welcome to the boards! Enjoying your body is a great thing, and I don't think that you have anything to worry about. Different people orgasm more or less quickly and there isn't a "right" length of time to take. Does that make sense?

If you want to prolong masturbation (or sex with a partner, if you choose to have it) then you might find that varying stimulation and making it more of a whole-body exploration allows you to find things that feel great but don't take you straight to orgasm, as can stopping and starting more direct stimulation. What do you think?

hi,

that does seem fair. And I have tried exploring my body but it doesnt feel good... I don't like touching my breasts and everything else just makes me feel akward. I have also tried edging before but even then my body seems to do it by its self. I will try to calm it down and maybe look for different ways other then directly going for it.

Thank you though. You made me feel a lot less scared knowing everyone has different lenghts of orgasms.

I'm glad that information was helpful! I just wanted to add a few things based on some of the worries I hear you expressing. For instance, orgasm doesn't have to mark the end of sex, so you and a future partner could find other sexual things to do if you find you orgasm quickly but want to continue being sexual with them in that moment.

Too, can you say a little more about why touching everything else feels awkward to you?

Well I don't know. To me touching my breasts or thighs in a pretty sensual way feels the same as touching my knee like that, kind of useless. I don't feel anything except stupid. The only region I feel good touching like that is around my vagina.
Also my nipples are not sensitive at all so touching them doesn nothing. It is wierd to explain, but I tried.

Hi Saaaaaaaaaaaaam,

A lot of people describe what you're talking about, that touching their breasts or thighs just feels like touching other parts of their body. Breasts and thighs are really sensitive for a lot of people, but not for everybody. It's not anything to worry about. It might change over time, or it might not, and either way is okay and completely normal.

It's absolutely okay to keep on masturbating in the ways that feel best to you.