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I want a threesome, bf doesn’t seem open to the idea
Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 11:43 am
by littlebirdie
Hey! I’m 15, almost 16, and so is my boyfriend. I’m a girl, and bisexual. Recently I’ve been thinking about having a threesome with him and another girl, but (if it were to happen) I don’t want him to have sex with her, I want them to both have sex with just me. I’m not sure if this is cheating, because I do love him, I just want to try other things. How should I approach this, and should I be fantasizing about other people, and ones of the opposite gender, while in a relationship?
Re: I want a threesome, bf doesn’t seem open to the idea
Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 4:19 pm
by Alice M
Hi littlebirdie and welcome to Scarleteen.
You said that your bf doesn't seem open to the idea -- so I assume you've talked about it? How did that go? If everyone is enthusiastically consenting then it's okay and not "cheating" but it sounds like your bf is not on board.
As far as fantasizing about others: fantasy is perfectly fine and typical for humans.
Re: I want a threesome, bf doesn’t seem open to the idea
Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 7:03 pm
by littlebirdie
littlebirdie wrote:Hey! I’m 15, almost 16, and so is my boyfriend. I’m a girl, and bisexual. Recently I’ve been thinking about having a threesome with him and another girl. but I brought it up to him half jokingly once, and he didn’t seem to be on board. Also (if it were to happen), I don’t want him to have sex with her, I want them to both have sex with just me. I’m not sure if this is cheating, because I do love him, I just want to try other things. How should I approach this and talk to him about it, and should I be fantasizing about other people, and ones of the opposite gender, while in a relationship?
Re: I want a threesome, bf doesn’t seem open to the idea
Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 7:05 pm
by littlebirdie
We haven’t actually talked about it, I brought it up half jokingly once, a while ago, and he didn’t seem open to the idea. How should I approach talking to him about this?
Re: I want a threesome, bf doesn’t seem open to the idea
Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2018 7:21 pm
by Robin
Hi There,
Here's an article all about talking about sex. Take a look:
Be a Blabbermouth!
The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Another place to start with figuring out how to start the conversation could be to think about how you usually talk about things that are new or tough to talk about. Have you had other conversations that you weren't sure how to start, or what your boyfriend's reaction would be? If you did, it might help to think about how you started them.
Re: I want a threesome, bf doesn’t seem open to the idea
Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 6:54 am
by Heather
You might also find this piece handy for thinking more about all of this before you talk to him about it, both just for yourself, but also to inform any conversations you do have:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... _boyfriend
Re: I want a threesome, bf doesn’t seem open to the idea
Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 5:03 pm
by littlebirdie
I also don’t know how the logistics would work out: the three times we’ve had vaginal sex were at his house, sorta half-worried that his parents would come home and catch us. The third person (if it were yo happen) may have a space in which to do it, but overall, there’s no real secure place to do anything.
Re: I want a threesome, bf doesn’t seem open to the idea
Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 5:18 pm
by Heather
I think thinking about the where of this is putting the cart waaaaaay before the horse. I think that what you probably want to focus on most is just asking your boyfriend, honestly, if this is even something he wants. How about you have that conversation first?