Scarleteen

Hi there,

I am a 19 year old male and I’m confused why I am having anxieties over scares that I know cannot logically cause a pregnancy. For example, last week I was fingering my girlfriend when I had pants and underwear on and I keep making up this situation in my head that my fly was Down and my penis popped out and that rubbed against her vagina, but she and I don’t have any recollection of such a thing happening. I feel like I’m going crazy with my mind playing tricks on me like this and I know such a situation didn’t happen and couldn’t cause a pregnancy but why am I still scared?

Hi Nak1

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with anxiety. It's hard when we're worried about things our logical brain know don't make sense. Do you get these feelings of anxiety more generally? Have you sought out any support for it?

I have seen a counselor and I thought I had been making progress, as I had been able to enjoy these safe practices without anxiety, but now it’s creeping back in and making me miserable

Hi Nak1,

I'm sorry to hear these anxieties seem to be increasing. Since your currently seeing a counselor, have you brought this most recent uptick in pregnancy anxiety up with them? Too, if you've brought these fears up in the past with your counselor, have you two discussed any tools or techniques you can use when these fears arise?

This latest anxiety just happened and I have not had time to see the counselor yet. We haven’t discussed coping strategies a lot but rather looking at what can actually cause a pregnancy to prevent the anxieties from arising.

Often it's not helpful to anxiety to keep thinking about and soaking in the topic that is giving you anxiety. There's a kind of therapy that does that, but that's done within pretty specific ways and constraints and with a therapist.

On your own, distractions often tend to work better, and nOT taking part in what triggers it if you can help it. So, until you can see that therapist, my best advice would be to take a pass on anything sexual that you know cues these worries and also put your focus on everything BUT the topic of reproduction. Can you do that?

You also should be able to call your counselor by phone and ask for extra help if you need it.

Hi Heather,

Thanks for your reply. That sounds like a good game plan for now I really appreciate it