"just the tip"
Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2019 11:16 pm
I came across something the other day on social media that really bothered me - it was an image shared by a prominent instagram account run for and by masculine-of-center people of color, most of whom identify as dykes/butches/bois/genderqueer in some way. The image (I guess you might call it a meme) said:
It took me a second to figure out what exactly it meant, and once I did, I was left with a really sour taste in my mouth. To break it down a bit, it was asserting that "just the tip" is something that a male might suggest to his female sexual partner, and then once he's inserted a bit, he tries to progress or push for full intercourse, and that "let me just kiss it" is the lesbian equivalent, except with oral sex. I wasn't even familiar with this concept in the first place - is this a common joke among straight people? (Not that PIV sex can only happen between straight people, mind you).
The whole thing felt so gross - the idea of proposing a sexual activity to try to get someone to go further than what they originally agreed to feels so manipulative. I mean, it is manipulative. And I was even more disappointed that this was coming from a page run for and by black and brown queer and trans people (read:woke?), who I would hope would have a better understanding than most of how misogyny and rape culture are intimately intertwined, and how healthy, respectful communication doesn't involve coercion. I thought about commenting on it, but there were about a dozen people already in the comments agreeing and responding positively, and I got overwhelmed at the thought.
Does the frustration I feel towards this post and/or this page make sense?
Underneath, it said something like, ^^no lies detected!!"Let me just kiss it" is the lesbian version of "just the tip"
It took me a second to figure out what exactly it meant, and once I did, I was left with a really sour taste in my mouth. To break it down a bit, it was asserting that "just the tip" is something that a male might suggest to his female sexual partner, and then once he's inserted a bit, he tries to progress or push for full intercourse, and that "let me just kiss it" is the lesbian equivalent, except with oral sex. I wasn't even familiar with this concept in the first place - is this a common joke among straight people? (Not that PIV sex can only happen between straight people, mind you).
The whole thing felt so gross - the idea of proposing a sexual activity to try to get someone to go further than what they originally agreed to feels so manipulative. I mean, it is manipulative. And I was even more disappointed that this was coming from a page run for and by black and brown queer and trans people (read:woke?), who I would hope would have a better understanding than most of how misogyny and rape culture are intimately intertwined, and how healthy, respectful communication doesn't involve coercion. I thought about commenting on it, but there were about a dozen people already in the comments agreeing and responding positively, and I got overwhelmed at the thought.
Does the frustration I feel towards this post and/or this page make sense?
