Scarleteen

Okay so I went and read through a ton of posts on here but I can’t seem to figure out what my problem is?

I am a female, and whenever I try to masturbate I don’t feel any arousal or anything really. Even if I’m already aroused I can’t seem to do anything about it. The best way I can describe my problem is that when I try to touch myself in any way, it’s like trying to tickle yourself. It doesn’t tickle when you try to do it to yourself, but when others do it it works. My boyfriend can do anything with me and I actually feel stuff, but does anyone know why I don’t when I do it to myself?

When you say you don't feel anything, do you mean you literally cannot feel your own hands or genitals, or do you mean that it just doesn't feel very exciting or stimulating?

Also, when you talk about arousal, can I check in to see if I understand what you mean? Are you saying that even when you're very turned on (aroused) and then touch your own body, it just doesn't feel satisfying or exciting or anything like how it does when you're with someone else? If so, is this also true when you are turned on and your boyfriend is with you and you touch yourself, or just when he isn't around?

There is no stimulation at all when I do it, even if he is there if I’m the one doing anything to myself I don’t feel any stimulation at all. Even if I’m using a toy or something, it just doesn’t feel stimulating. When he does stuff I feel it though. I’m not sure as to why though, I’ve tried pretty much everything but nothing ever happens.

Okay, so you CAN feel that you are touching yourself, it just isn't exciting or satisfying for you at all.

Sometimes -- or for some people, all the time, even throughout their whole lives -- some people find that they just don't get turned on enough by touching themselves for masturbation to "work" for them. It also can be that if someone has an aversion to touching themselves, or just came up with the idea that only sex from someone else is exciting, that they have a mental block that can translate into a physical block. Sounds like at least one of these scenarios is you up to this point.

My advice would be not to sweat it. If masturbation just isn't your things yet, right now, or at all, then it isn't! Chances are it won't always be like this for you, but if it is right now -- and if right now, only partnersex really does it for you -- I'd just accept that and not worry about it. Does that sound workable for you, or are you feeling upset in some way by not having masturbation be a thing you're digging in life?

I mean it sucks not being able to. I rarely get to see my boyfriend due to conflicting work schedules and college, so we often go long periods of time without seeing eachother. But I’m sure I can live without it, I have since I hit puberty so. Thank you for the advice.

Sure. I'm sorry there's not a whole lot more I can offer around this!

This helped me a lot. I’m far too young to have any physical relationships, and I haven’t even been in a relationship yet. But I feel abnormal, since I’m going through the same thing. It might just be puberty, but I don’t know. I just feel different, and It’s nice to know other people feel the same way as me.