masterbation and sex problems

[prettypanther]

hey, im not sure what to do and wonder if anyone can help... (im a girl by the way) basically i really struggle with masterbation, i cant get aroused at all and no matter how many different things i try (positions, using a vibrator etc) i either dont feel anything at all, or just dont find it nice? im extremely educated with things about the vagina and have researched different things to try. i feel like the issue might be that i need someone with me to stimulate me, but obviously this isnt possible when im by myself. ive tried porn and everything, nothing seems to work! thank you!

[Mo]

Hi prettypanther, and welcome to Scarleteen.

Just to clarify, it sounds like you're not feeling much (if any) arousal before you start masturbating, or during masturbation - do I have that right?

[prettypanther]

hi, thank you!
yes thats right:/

[Mo]

Ok, thanks for clarifying. It's really common for the kinds of touch that people engage in during masturbation to feel underwhelming, neutral, or actively painful/irritating when they aren't feeling aroused. Some of that is due to the physical changes that happen in the body during periods of arousal; this article goes into more detail about those changes: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide.

Are there times you do feel arousal? Are there certain things you like to think about, or types of stories you like to read, etc. that tend to bring on that feeling? I'd focus on that part of things for now, finding that feeling of arousal, and then returning to the hands-on portion of masturbation when you're feeling aroused to see if things feel any different. It is common for people to take some time & experimentation before they find what really works best for them during masturbation, but I think holding off on more experimentation until you're feeling really aroused is going to make it more likely that things will feel good.

[prettypanther]

okay, thank you so much for your help!!

[Mo]

You're very welcome!