Sex after the first time

[faking_normal_]

I just have a quick question. I lost my virginity recently and I want to have sex again but the bleeding scared my partner and it caused some tension for a little bit. Will I bleed again if I have sex? I know that it's 100% normal but I was a little embarrassed and I want to know if there is a chance of bleeding again so I can prepare. Please let me know.

[Heather]

What can make bleeding happen during first times — or any times — is usually a few things: people feeling nervous (so not being fully aroused), people not using any or enough lubricant, and/or a lack of communication and responsiveness between partners.

With that last bit, that can mean things like the receptive partner (that’s you) not saying when things hurt or don’t feel good, so the other partner just going at it like everything is fine when they should stop or change things up.

I would also add that bleeding likely also happens more often when people think pain is an okay and normal part of first times (nope), so they keep doing something causing injury instead of stopping.

Does any of that sound relevant to your experience?

Also, your body fluids are no less acceptable than his, and blood is something you don’t need to feel ashamed of just like semen or pre-ejaculate isn’t something he should feel shame around. Are you two able to talk in a way that can work towards normalizing your fluids so when they’re in the picture, it’s not an issue?