Talking about sex

[Frogeegurl]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating almost a month and a half. I know that I am in love with him, but have yet to tell him as I was planning to do it on Valentine’s Day. I’ve never felt like this about anybody and I’ve dated a lot of people. The best thing is that we were friends before we started dating so I know a bunch of stuff about him already. Including his views on premarital sex and I have similar ones. We both think we should be love with one another.
But here’s the problem...our ideas about timing are off by years. He thinks it takes at least one year to fall in love, and I obviously disagree. And the worst part is I’m ready for sex with him. I’ve gone through all the checklists and all the questions online about making sure I am ready and I am.
But I don’t know how to broach the subject with him without scaring him, being rejected, and feeling undesired even if that’s not the truth. How do I talk about this with him? Because I want to give him every part of me and I don’t know how to get him to start thinking about that.

[Sam W]

Hi Frogeegurl,

So, it actually sounds like you're sort of asking two separate things: how to tell your partner you love him and how to say you're feeling ready to have sex with him. I'm splitting those up because they're likely to be two separate conversations. Telling a partner you love them for the first time is a conversation about how you're each feeling about the other. Asking if they're ready to be sexual with you is still about feelings, but also about more practical topics like safety. Too, it can also be helpful to understand that the relationship between love and sexual attraction isn't always as clear cut as people want it to be, which you can read more about in this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... vs_lusting Does that make sense?

Given all that, it sounds like you want to tell him you love him soon. When you think about that scenario, what outcomes feel most likely to you? And what would be the negative outcomes you're worried about?