I disagree
Forum rules
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.
This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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IAmScared
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I disagree
I disagree with what I read on your website,that you consider rape to be unwanted touch of your butt or chest. I had that happen to me and my shrink told me it was only sexual harrassment.
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Sam W
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Re: I disagree
Hi IAmScared,
The reason we include that in our definition of sexual assault is because we want people to understand that sexual assault is, "when one person wants and pursues a sexual act on, to or inside another person who does not want to participate, and who does not fully and freely consent to take part in that act." Unwanted sexual touching of any part of the body falls within that definition.
Now some people, like your therapist, define sexual assault more narrowly (for instance, maybe they assume that there have to be genitals involved). But most people who work with survivors define it more broadly, to reflect all the ways sexual assault can look in the real world. Ultimately, you get to decide how you define what happened to you. If it's not comfortable for you to describe it as assault, then you can label it as something else. Does that all make sense?
The reason we include that in our definition of sexual assault is because we want people to understand that sexual assault is, "when one person wants and pursues a sexual act on, to or inside another person who does not want to participate, and who does not fully and freely consent to take part in that act." Unwanted sexual touching of any part of the body falls within that definition.
Now some people, like your therapist, define sexual assault more narrowly (for instance, maybe they assume that there have to be genitals involved). But most people who work with survivors define it more broadly, to reflect all the ways sexual assault can look in the real world. Ultimately, you get to decide how you define what happened to you. If it's not comfortable for you to describe it as assault, then you can label it as something else. Does that all make sense?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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IAmScared
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Re: I disagree
It doesn't make sense.It's like me saying a person who touched my boobs without my consent raped me.
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Sam W
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Re: I disagree
Can I ask what part of it does't make sense, given the definition I described in my first post? Too, I'm not saying you have to define something that happened to you any given way; simply that someone forcibly touching another persons' breasts without their consent falls under the definition of sexual assault used by professionals who work with survivors.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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IAmScared
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Re: I disagree
Is sexual assault the same thing as rape?
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Heather
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Re: I disagree
Rape is more of a cultural/vague term. Sexual assault is a legal term and one used more in healthcare. It is also more specific. Some people use them interchangeably, others do not.
We’re more inclined to use terms like sexual abuse and assault here, simply because they are better defined.
That said, you get to call things that have happened to you what you want to. In your posts, I am seeing a pattern of what sounds like sexual abuses and I worry that you seeming to want to dismiss them as abuses might be making you more vulnerable to them, though.
We’re more inclined to use terms like sexual abuse and assault here, simply because they are better defined.
That said, you get to call things that have happened to you what you want to. In your posts, I am seeing a pattern of what sounds like sexual abuses and I worry that you seeming to want to dismiss them as abuses might be making you more vulnerable to them, though.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead