Scarleteen

So I'm 13 and I like to use my fingers in my vagina and 2 fingers is ok but 3 fingers hurt and I like it but it hurts and I don't have any lube and my mom doesn't know I'm doing that. Any advice on how to insert 3 fingers with out a parter and without lube???

Masturbation and other kinds of sex are supposed to be about what feels good, not about impressing yourself or someone else. So, if what feels good to you is two fingers, and three hurt, then the best answer is usually to go with two and not use three, because two feels good and three doesn't!

And if any number fingers don't feel good -- not just okay, but actually good -- period, then why do that at all? Why not experiment to find out what feels good and do whatever that is? The whole point of masturbation is that it gets to ONLY be about what feels good for you.

It is a good idea to use a lubricant anytime you're putting something inside the vagina or anus, just as a thing to know. That not only usually makes those ways of being sexual feel best, it also helps protect your body parts from scrapes.

Ok. I do love to do so but sometimes it hurts and my mom doesn't know I do so. What stores sell lube?

You probably have some options within reach.

Most pharmacies/drugstores (like CVS, Walgreens, RiteAid) sell lube, Target sells lube, a lot of grocery stores will even sell it if they sell things like tampons and condoms. You just want to avoid "novelty" lubes which can show up more in those places, like warming or cooling lubes, which usually have creepy ingredients in them or aren't so great for your body.

Alternately, if you are just using it for masturbation, and not with condoms or toys, you can also use something you may find in the cupboard or at the grocery store, which are some kinds of cooking/body care oils. Coconut, olive and avocado can all be used safely on your vulva or vaginally.

And honestly, I don't trust a boy, or girl, to that to me yet. I prefer doing it on my own as well. Does vegetable oil harm the vagina?

There' nothing wrong with that! You have the right to not only only want to be your own partner, but to be your favorite sexual partner! And for sure, trust is a big part of that equation. Good on you for knowing yourself and taking good care of yourself in that way.

Vegetable oil isn't generally recommended. I've always assumed that's due to the lower quality of that oil mix and to "vegetable" oil actually being a mix of a bunch of different kinds of oils, including some that aren't so healthy, period, like palm oil.

Ok☺

I want to say, I don't trust anyone with that because I have been raped, sexually assaulted and molested.

Hi hotcoco2000,

I'm so sorry to hear that you have been raped and assaulted in the past. It's not surprising that you find it hard to trust other people sexually right now. I hope that you know it is not your fault - are you safely away from the person (or people) who did this to you now?

Is there anything we can do to support you? Would you like to talk about it more?

Sorry I was at school. Yes I am safe and sure I'll talk more! I'de be more than happy to share my story on here for every one to see!

If it would feel helpful for you to talk about it, you're welcome to! Mostly we want to make sure we're giving you support around that assault if that's something you'd like us to help with.

It is something I want support with!

Okay! What kind of support could we offer to best help you right now? For example, we could help you connect with resources or information, or we could let this be a space for you to process what happened (or something else entirely),

A space to let me share, process and get support for what happened, if that's ok.

Hi Hotcoco!

You're more than welcome to talk about it more here or you can start a new thread in this section of the boards if you prefer: http://www.scarleteen.com/bb/viewforum.php?f=16

Loads of people find it really helpful to share their abuse experiences. I'm happy this is somewhere that feels safe to do that!

So I am 13 and I wanted to try to finger myself but it hurt and I wanted to know if thats normal and how do I start fingering myself.

(Welcome to the boards. Just FYI, when your profile says one age but you post with another it can make things pretty confusing for us. If you could let us know which age for you is actually correct, that'd be great. Thanks!)

It's very normal for people of all ages to masturbate or explore masturbation, and that usually does involve people touching their genitals.

More often than not, whether it's alone or with a partner, just using fingers (or anything else) inside the vagina, and not doing anything else doesn't feel like much or that great for people because the vagina isn't the area of that system of genitals where the most sensory nerve endings are. Most of those are in the clitoris, including the external portions, and then just around the opening of the vagina, which also makes contact with the internal portions of the clitoris.

There's no how-to with things like this save when it comes to safety: you'll want to have clean hands, short nails that don't have sharp edges and only stick to what feels good, and stop if anything hurts. Otherwise, it's just a matter of experimenting to find out what feels good to you, because everyone's pretty different when it comes to what people enjoy, if they enjoy something like this at all, and if they do, how they enjoy it. You find out for yourself by just trying things and seeing how they feel for you.

You might also find this piece comes in handy (no pun intended): Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation.