Handling Holiday/Winter Body Talk Weirdnes

[Sam W]

The holidays that happen this time of year can bring with them a double-dose of weird norms in the way people talk about food and bodies. On the one hand their tends to be a ton of food and activities that center around eating, but on the other hand there's a ton of talk about "holiday weight" and weird performative guilt around eating food. Even if you don't celebrate any of the holidays this time of year, it can be hard to avoid incidental contact with this stuff, and you're someone dealing with (or who has dealt with) disordered eating it can be an extra-stressful element of the season.

A lot of folks I know find the most difficult moments are when they're in a gathering and the body talk/food comes up. So I thought it would be helpful to share what things people have found help them navigate those conversations, from tuning them out to commenting on them. I've personally used some techniques from Captain Awkward that have usually worked: https://captainawkward.com/2014/06/12/5 ... e-bonding/
https://captainawkward.com/2017/12/05/1 ... alth-hell/
How about y'all?

[Robin]

Great topic. I adore Captain Awkward.

When a family member (okay, my mom) criticizes something I'm eating, I've taught myself to just say "I'm hungry!" or "I like it!" in a really no-nonsense, this-is-final sort of way.

It's harder to deal with when there's just general this-food-is-better-than-that-food kind of talk.
Refocussing the conversation seems to work when I'm just talking with one person (again, usually my mom). If she insists on talking about food and health claims that aren't based in fact, I keep the focus on how everybody's body is different. I feel a little like a broken record sometimes, but it at least helps me feel more in control, and it's a good reminder to me in case all the food talk gets to be to much and I start questioning my own food choices.

It's harder to tune the talk out when there's a group of people doing it.

I've been known to leave the room for a "necessary" bathroom break when my mom and her friends start in on the weight loss or fake-diet-science talk. Or, I'll turn to someone not involved in the conversation and ask a question about what they're reading lately.

[noaccount]

To try to de-naturalize diet culture, when people tell me they're losing weight, I just ask them if they're okay...