Period Help!

[Sailormoon]

Hi I’m stressing out you guys. The last time I got my period was January 29th and it was late by 3-4 days I took a pregnancy test and it came out negative and I was bleeding very lightly my pad stayed clean for those 3-4 days that I thought I was late. Then my period came and was just regular not heavy as usual. Now for this month I was supposed to get my period February 23 and nothing once again. I’m feeling some cramps and yes I’m sexually active. Should I take another pregnancy test? Is there a reason for my period being late and acting werid like this again? I do worry about things a lot, I started drinking more water. I’m not sure if that can affect it. Also I do stress out more than often. Help! Should I go to the doctor or wait to see if my period shows up in a few days. I’m trying to stay calm about this but I’m not sure if I should worry

[Sam W]

Hi Sailormoon,

Periods can be late for all sorts of reasons, which you can read about here:
M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period? Although from what you're describing, your periods haven't actually been late; a period is generally only considered late once it's at least five days later than the latest expected.

It sounds like you have some anxiety around periods and pregnancy. When that happens, it's can be a sign that you may be moving fast in terms of sexual activity. Are you feeling comfortable with the level of sexual activity you're engaging in?

[Sailormoon]

Hi Sam, thanks for responding. Thanks for clarifying when a period is actually late. Anytime I don’t get it when my app says I’m supposed to I consider it late. Yes I do have a lot of anxiety about that, yes I’m comfortable with the sexual activity that I engage in. It’s just I get stressed out about this because I’m not using protection. I’m not on any birthcontrol either I don’t trust it. Im sleeping with the same person each time so I’m not sure why I freak out about my period

[Sam W]

If you're not using contraception, it makes a lot of sense that this is causing you stress. After all, you on some level know you're doing something risky. Since it sounds like you don't want to become pregnant any time soon, can I ask why you and your partner are choosing not to use condoms? You mention you don't trust any contraception you'd be taking. Can you tell me more about that?

With the period tracking app, is it having you do things like take your temperature or check your cervical mucus? Or is it just having you do things like enter the start and end dates of your periods?

[Sailormoon]

We don’t use condoms because I always end up being allergic to them or the lube that’s on there. We’ve tried different kinds and my sensitive skin just won’t be okay with it. My period tracking app just has me put the start and end dates of my periods.

[Sam W]

Oof, that sounds unpleasant. Have you tried non-latex ones as well to see if it may be specifically the latex in condoms you're reacting to? Have you been using withdrawal in place of condoms?

In terms of other contraceptives, would you like to talk about bit about your concerns about them and see if we can find some options that you'd be interested in exploring? Right now, if you're wanting to be sexually active and also stand the lowest chance of pregnancy, using a contraceptive is going to be your best bet.

So, period tracking apps that only ask you that data can't actually give you very accurate pictures of your cycle. If you're curious about methods that can actually give you that information, this article is a great starting place: Get With the Flow: All About FAM

[Sailormoon]

Yes I’ve tried the non latex ones and still have the same issue. I think I’m also allergic to the lube on there and yes we’ve just been using the withdrawal method. I personally just don’t like birth control because it made me gain so much weight. I have a friend who’s on it and she’s gained a lot of weight and it still hasn’t regulated her period at all.

[Sam W]

Got it. Since you two haven't been able to use condoms, are you also making sure you're up to date on your STI testing?

Okay, so it sounds like you've had bad experience with one method of contraception in the past, which can definitely suck. When you decided to go off that method, did you and your healthcare provider talk about possible alternatives, ones that may not cause the same side effects or ones that are not hormone based, such as Cervical Barriers (Diaphragms, Lea's Shield and Cervical Caps) ? Too, it can help to remember that while weight gain is a possible side effect of some birth control, it's basically a guaranteed outcome of getting pregnant ( I don't say that to be snarky, but rather because sometimes we can get so caught up in worrying about the side effects of birth control that we forget the variety of effects pregnancy has on the body).

In case the information is useful, withdrawal is 73-82% effective with typical use over a year. If you haven't already done so, you and your partner may want to talk about whether that is a level of risk you're both comfortable having.

[Sailormoon]

Yes we both got tested before we started dating last October. No I didn’t get to speak with my doctor about it. I live about an hour away from the doctors office. I’ll take the time to go talk to my doctor soon. And we have already talked about it. I think I just gota stop panicking about my period

[Sailormoon]

P.s I’m only cramping today and there’s only some blood when I wipe after peeing does that mean I’m going to get it for sure? I’ve read online that it means it’s just taking a while to start