Scarleteen

Hello, my name is allyson and i guess i can say i’m sexually active. i’m a virgin and i masturbate a lot, i use like the handle part of a razor, not the actual razor i take that off, to masturbate. but when i do it just hurts and i get no pleasure at all, i try using my fingers but i still get no pleasure. i don’t know what to do at this point. this has been going on for like 8 months and i’m too scared to ask my mom about this. i seriously need help and please give me as much advice as any of you can. thank you.

Hi, welcome to Scarleteen.

A few things, first: when something hurts like this has been for you, it's best to quit doing that particular thing. We also do not recommend using anything for masturbation or any other type of sex that has something sharp on any end. This is dangerous because it could slip and you could seriously hurt yourself.

Sometimes it can take awhile to figure out what feels most pleasurable for you and you're most comfortable with doing -- this is normal, and figuring it out can be fun and satisfying.

We have an article here on D.I.Y. Sex Toys (Self-Love Edition) that I recommend you read. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.

Additionally, I'm curious if you felt pleasure from masturbation at other times in the past and this is a new thing, or if it has never felt good for you? Are you aroused when you masturbate -- not only physically, but mentally as well? Arousal is an important step in the pleasure process.

Here are more resources on that topic:

Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation

With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

i’ve tried multiple things but i still can get it and it’s stressing me out so much and i do want to ask my mom about it but i don’t know how she’ll feel or the reaction.

Hi allyson,

It sounds like this is majorly stressing you out. When that's the case, it might actually be helpful to take a break from trying to masturbate. Feeling stressed or frustrated with yourself is likely to kill any arousal, making it hard to feel pleasure from masturbation.

When you say the ways you've tried don't give you pleasure, do you mean you don't feel much of anything when you try them? Or is it more that what you feel is uncomfortable or not as strong as you're expecting? I also want to circle back to the question Alice asked. That is, when you try masturbating, are you feeling mentally aroused?

With talking to your mom about this, is there are certain part of it that you're hoping she'll be able to help you out with?

yeah i’m mentally aroused the majority of the time, if like hurts my hips during penetration. i have been thinking about taking a break and i’m starting today to see how it goes. i feel like if i talk to my mom she’ll just be grossed out or something like that.

A break sounds like an excellent plan. For when you try again, do I have it right that you've only tried methods that involve inserting something into your vaginal canal? Or have you tried masturbating by only touching the outside of your genitals as well?

You ultimately know your mom way better than we do, which means you're in the best position to figure out how she'd react to you asking her about this. If you're worried about her reaction, is there a reason you want to ask her, specifically? What kind of help are you hoping to get from the conversation?