Scarleteen

so my boyfriend and i have been sexually active together for two months or so now. i gave him oral, he fingers me and thats pretty much it sometimes but, these past few weeks hes been asking me if he can give me an oral but i keep declining cause im not really confident with my down there even though i want to try it out with him. does anyone have any advices?

Hi there kiiiimibela,

I'm glad to hear that you've been able to set that boundary and (hopefully) have it respected when you felt you weren't ready to try that. Did you tell your boyfriend how you felt? How did he respond to it?

You're not the only one who feels a bit nervous or shy about receiving oral sex for the first time. When you imagine doing it, what kinds of thoughts or feelings come up for you? How would it be different from what you've felt comfortable with and done before (like him fingering you)?

One bit of reading that you mind find helpful right off the bat is The Sex Goddess Blues: Building Sexual Confidence, Busting Perfectionism - the title really says it all. It's hard to feel confident about our bodies even when we're not sharing a part of us that's pretty intimate and vulnerable. Is there anything that's helped you feel confident about your body in the past?