Scarleteen

Hi,
I had been on a date with a guy I met online last night around 11 PM. I had ordered a drink(just orange juice non alcoholic). After having the drink, I didn't feel any symptoms except feeling sleepy maybe because it was late night. I continued talking to that guy and after an hour I went home.
But I didn't notice the drink being prepared. I have doubts of my drink getting spiked.
Is there any chance that the guy might have spiked my drink and I wouldn't have remembered blacking out and won't remember anything that happened and he would have assaulted me and I wouldn't even remember waking up and continued talking to him with complete memory loss of what had happened?
It was a public place but noone was there near the juice shop, the road was deserted except for the juice shop guy.
I am getting anxious over these thoughts....How to proceed?

Hi Sara,

Is there anything you can point to that suggests something like that could have happened? Things like gaps in your memory, time you can't account for, physical signs like soreness etc? I'm not seeing anything in your post to suggest anything happened, so please share if there is more.

I'm asking because you've come to us before with concerns that something may have happened that you don't remember where we concluded that it was very unlikely and you were talking about speaking to a mental healthcare provider - is that something you've done? I understand why you worry about your safety and there's nothing wrong with being cautious, but it sounds like you have a lot of worries that are interfering with your life - what do you think?

"Things like gaps in your memory, time you can't account for, physical signs like soreness etc?"
I didn't have any of these signs. But I am still afraid if anything might have happened.

Okay, so given what you've told us, it seems extremely unlikely that your drink was spiked. What sounds more likely is that this fear is stemming from that same anxiety that's caused you to ask about similar worries in the past. Have you sought out any mental healthcare since we last spoke? It sounds like these thoughts are adding a lot of stress to your life.

But is there any chance of this happening without any kind of recollection or symptoms?

Honestly, there really isn't a possibility of that. Too, continuing to focus on that train of thought is going to add to your overall stress levels, rather than help you deal with the underlying cause of these fears and help you feel better in the long run. So, I'm going to ask that you not keep seeking reassurance around this incident.

Instead, why do you think you keep having these fears? Where do you think they're coming from? And have you spoken to a mental healthcare provider about them?

It's true that I worry a lot. I talked to a mental health counselor for the concerns I had before. She assured that those were just common worries.
It's true that these worries are a common occurrence in my life. I don't even know what triggered this. I almost believe it has happened.

Okay, so it sounds like a first step would be to connect to a different mental healthcare provider. While worries about ones safety are common, having worries that you cannot shake and that aren't attached to something that actually happened is generally a sign of a deeper underlying issue, such as an anxiety disorder. So, it would be sound to find a mental healthcare provider who grasps that you're dealing with unfounded, intrusive thoughts that go beyond standard worries. Do you know how to connect to a different counselor?

It's okay to not be entirely sure where these thoughts come from. Do the same type of persistent fears arise in other parts of your life? Or are they only ever connected to the possibility of sexual assault?

I have had pregnancy scares few times.

Okay, do you ever have scares about other things, ones not related to pregnancy or sexual assault?

I have scares related to unsafe blood transfusion or used syringes being used on me again. I always ask the nurse to open the syringe in front of me.

"Things like gaps in your memory, time you can't account for, physical signs like soreness etc?"
I don't remember how long I was talking with that guy and the time I came home. But I remember coming home and going to bed. Is that something to worry about?

As I said, focusing on this specific situation is only going to keep you trapped in an anxiety loop, so I'm going to ask that you not continue seeking reassurance about it.

Okay, it sounds like you have recurring fears of something happening to you without you knowing it happened in scenarios where that simply isn't realistic. Are you able to connect with a different mental healthcare provider to talk about those fears, or is the previous counselor your only option?

I will try checking for other options. Thank you for the advice.
For this concern , I can be sure that nothing happened right?

Okay, so how about you make a plan that, over the next day or so you'll look into your options and go from there? That would be a good way of practicing self-care today. If you need other ways to take care of yourself in the interim, this article has a ton of them: Self-Care a La Carte.

I will try checking for other options. Thank you for the advice.
For this concern , I can be sure that nothing happened right?

Sara, Sam has asked you more than once not to keep asking for that reassurance. We need you to please respect limits and boundaries when we ask for them. Thanks.