Condom Use

[Booksandoceans]

Hello! My bf and I had sex using a latex condom a few days after my period. We did it on Days 8-9 and made sure there was protection all the time. My cycle is long and it ranges from 30-40 days (average length is 35 days and my most recent cycle was 39 days long, it’s never below 30 days though). I was nervous the first time we tried, so we stopped. The second time, he had trouble keeping an erection so he would pull out to get hard before putting it back in. We then decided to stop also because he got “blue balls” which hurt for him, and for some reason couldn’t keep an erection. It was our first time so we were both nervous. There was literally no ejaculation involved.

The whole time we made sure there was protection, but i am really paranoid sometimes. Is it counted as correct condom use even if he gets soft during sex? Both times, he urinated right before sex, so does that really wash out sperm from pre-cum? And is there really a risk in my situation?

Sorry for being so paranoid but i appreciate all the help!

[Heather]

We can't speak to the pregnancy scare bit of this (and I'll post our standard policy and the answer that goes with it in a sec), but whether or not someone stays hard doesn't change that a condom is used correctly. So long as the condom still stayed on, you're all good!

And yep, based on all the information/science we have, urination flushes out any trace sperm cells leftover after a previous ejaculation. However, that isn't even relevant if all the sexual contact you're having is with a condom.

Here's that answer per the worries about risks:

We will not answer ANY questions about pregnancy fear or anxiety in our direct services from users who are not pregnant or who are not or have not otherwise been directly involved with an actual pregnancy.

Please do not post this kind of question. If you are seeing this text, and your thread is locked, it is because you have posted this kind of question.

We CAN and WILL talk about things like:
• choosing and using a method or methods of contraception for any future sexual activity
• creating your own sexual limits and boundaries based on your needs and/or presenting them to any partners
• making sexual choices that suit your own needs, abilities and limitations, including your own readiness for certain possible risks
• help locating or using emergency contraception if and when you have had a pregnancy risk
• discussing options with a real, existing pregnancy, and help finding and accessing those options, such as abortion services and pre-natal care, or discussing feelings or concerns about a past pregnancy
• help with anxiety like locating mental health services, sound self-help or asking for support from friends or family

For help dealing with a scare (including what poses a risk and your next steps based on your unique situation), you may use our tool on site built for this purpose: The Pregnancy Panic Companion.
For help with anxiety, click here.
For related help and information at Scarleteen, click here.
If you would like more information about this policy, click here.