Scarleteen

so I’ve been doing this for about a month, and the only things I do are exterior, just like clit and stuff.
well i like get somewhere, where I start to like spasm (well my shoulders + arms do) and it’s like bliss but it’s hard to continue cause I’m spasming but is there anything after that?
Cause I feel like I haven’t made it, and it’s quite annoying cause it gets to the good part and then just stops, and I can’t start again cause it feels sensitive down there afterwards.

hopefully that makes sense to someone, low-uncomfortable saying the words and things, new topic for me.

Hi v3,

Welcome to Scarleteen! I just changed your spelling of the word spasm because the previous spelling is more associated with being ablist, which I'm sure wasn't your intention at all.

Apart from that yep, it makes sense!

I'm sorry to hear it feels like you are hitting a wall when it comes to self-pleasure.

It sounds like much of what you're doing feels good, which is great, but I can't say why it drops out for you when you get there.

Actually people can vary in lots of ways when it comes to how they experience pleasure or orgasm, but it can take a while to learn what works for us and even what 'working for us' means for our unique bodies.

I'm not sure I can advise more than to keep experimenting. You may find that there are things you haven't tried which get you to where you want to go.

These pieces might be helpful:

Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation
D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

alright cool, and yeah that wasn’t my intention to spell spasm like that, sorry!

v3gaslights wrote:so I’ve been doing this for about a month, and the only things I do are exterior, just like clit and stuff.
well i like get somewhere, where I start to like spasm (well my shoulders + arms do) and it’s like bliss but it’s hard to continue cause I’m spasming but is there anything after that?
Cause I feel like I haven’t made it, and it’s quite annoying cause it gets to the good part and then just stops, and I can’t start again cause it feels sensitive down there afterwards.

hopefully that makes sense to someone, low-uncomfortable saying the words and things, new topic for me.

Hi there,

I realise this post is a few months old but hope this will be of some use!

I'm not entirely sure if what you're describing is what I went through, but it sounds really similar to when I started masturbating (long time ago now). Basically, I wasn't sure what I was doing, so I was just rubbing the part that felt good (my clit), then suddenly the spasms happened and it got way too sensitive to touch and off-putting. Basically what was happening was I was making myself orgasm, but I think I was just getting there too fast/rough. You may not be going actually physically rough, but the speed makes a huge difference.

The more I tried it, the more I wanted to avoid getting an 'abrupt stop', so I started trying it slower. I realised that when I went slower, I didn't bypass the whole build up. Instead I experienced a pleasurable build up, and then when I had an orgasm, it was incredible. It's kind of like a rollercoaster - the longer you spend on build up, the better/more satisfying/more lasting the peak will be. A key thing I learned while slowing down on the build up was the importance of fantasy. Basically - when I masturbated slower, AND therefore allowed myself to also fantasize, the build up was way better and the orgasm was satisfying. When I instead went fast only because the sensation felt good, and therefore didn't think about anything, then the orgasm was blunt, easy, felt good, but then felt sensitive. (Well, it's always sensitive afterwards, but when you're doing it 'right', it feels satisfying too!)

Try that, it might help!