Scarleteen

Hi - my boyfriend and I have been looking high and low for help. His circumcised penis sensitive- so extremely sensitive at the tip that sex hurts (penis in vagina). He only lasts 30 seconds to a minute. He describes it as starting out fine (we use lots of lube) and then it get more and more uncomfortable the closer he gets to coming (which is only 20 seconds later) he went to a urologist and got a numbing cream that he says feels really uncomfortable. So we only used it once. This is becoming a pretty big problem for us because now he doesn't want sex because of the pain, and then I end up feeling hurt getting turned down all the time, and then he feels more bad. Condoms help a little bit, but not much. Any ideas?!?! He says oral and hand jobs feel better because it is gentler on the tip of his penis. I'm thinking of trying a numbing spray I saw advertised. Please help. I can't find ANYTHING online.

Hi Missmarie,

If he's still experiencing pain, he may want to check back in with he urologist and discuss it with them. That's the person who can give him the best sense of what's going on and how to treat it.

If it's painful, it makes a lot of sense that he'd want to avoid vaginal sex, and really that's a sound call on his part (it may help to remember that he's not turning sex with you down because of you, but because of the pain). Since it sounds like this is causing some issues for you two, what if you two decided to focus on the activities that are pleasurable for both of you? You know manual and oral sex are things he prefers, are there other types of sex that you enjoy that you could add into the mix (oral sex or manual sex on you, using toys, etc)?

It may also help to know that the time it takes him to reach ejaculation isn't that different than the average; most people with penises take less than three minutes to reach ejaculation.