Scarleteen

Hi,
I have been going out with a guy I met online for a week. We met only for one date.
He was behaving very matured and decent during the date. We had good chemistry and had an intellectual conversation. I really liked him.
But there was a little problem, This guy used to be fat, but recently had a body transformation and lost a lot of weight, so he was continuously talking about his weight loss journey, it made me very uncomfortable because I am myself obese. He saw that I am obese but didn't comment anything on that.
The next night when we were talking over phone, He said that I didn't look anything like I was on photo and asked why I gained so much weight. It hurt me a lot. Actually I used to be thinner than how I am now. But gained a lot of weight after my leg injury.
He said that he wants a girlfriend who is fit. I told I am fit and I ll start working out after my leg injury heals. But I was really hurt by his comments on my body. I asked him if he found me attractive. He told that I am beautiful and attractive but not fit.
I was so pissed off and told him that this won't workout because his expectations are different. I blocked him everywhere.
After a day, he messaged me that he wanted to talk to me and couldn't stop thinking about me. I ignored it. He called again and again so I picked up.
He told that he really liked me and didn't mean to hurt me. He really wants this to workout and won't talk about my weight again. I was still having doubts. But he told that he won't find a girl as smart and attractive as me. And he also told that he finds me really attractive. He wanted our relationship to workout and asked me to give him a chance.
I thought for a long time and said we LL go out casually. And see how it goes. I ve agreed for a second date. Am I making a mistake? Should I give this relationship a try? I still have a lot of doubts about his attraction towards me. But I am not sure if it's worth a second date. What should I do?

Oh my goodness, Sara, I'm so sorry! This sounds like it was probably very hurtful and painful.

Personally, I wouldn't go out with this guy again and think you're well within your rights to cancel that second date. I think you already know very clearly he isn't someone who makes you feel good, he makes you feel bad. He isn't someone who holds up your self-esteem, he's someone who knocks it down. It also sounds to me like you got guilt-tripped into seeing him again because he has this idea he's entitled to someone to date -- he's so not -- not because you actually liked him, felt good with him and want to see him again.

I think you should stick to your instincts, in other words. I just don't think that someone who makes you feel so bad and is so careless with your feelings on a first date is likely to get better: realistically, it's usually the other way around.