I can't masturbate (or feel any pleasure at all?)

[froslee]

Hello. I've been reading you guys for a long time and I've now decided I need personal advice.
I'm a 19 year old female, I've been having sex since I was 16. I don't seem to be experiencing any kind of pleasure whenever I have sex with my boyfriend or try to masturbate. I really enjoy having sex with him but I think it's just because I really, really like him and love him and I feel great when we share those moments but it's probably just psychological pleasure, I don't think I actually feel sexual pleasure, sometimes it feels nice but that's all.
I know most women feel pleasure and have orgasms much more easily when masturbating, so I tried to, but with no success. I don't feel anything if I rub/touch my clitoris or do anything with my genitals in general, maybe I need to try different things but I really don't know what, I find it really difficult to do it alone. Note that I haven't got any issues getting turned on, I get turned on very easily when I'm around my boyfriend, less easily when I'm alone but it's not really the problem. However I feel really anxious and frustrated about not being able to feel pleasure and/or masturbate, I feel like I'm somehow broken. When I try to do it it's inevitable for me to think about those bad things even if I'm aroused and maybe that's the reason, but I don't know how to get rid of these feelings because I feel like this since I've tried masturbating for the first time. I've also tried not to think about it and not trying to do it for a long time hoping that my anxieties would get better.
I'm starting to think maybe I have some kind of medical condition that's causing me this? What do you think?

[Heather]

Hey there, froslee: welcome. <3

I'm taking in all you've written here, but I have a few extra questions, if you don't mind. I think they'll give me a fuller sense of things.

1) When you say you feel turned on, can you tell me a little about how you identify those feelings of arousal? Physically, what happens that translates as "turned on" to you? Or is it only emotional? If so, can you talk a little bit about how you're identifying that arousal is what you are feeling: what does that feel like separate from say, feeling excited about something that isn't sexual?
2) Do you experience physical pleasure -- feelings of pleasure in your body -- from anything else? Like say, certain kinds of movement or exercise, or things like getting a massage or soaking your feet?
3) When you are sexual with your partner, a) are you initiating that yourself even and also b) does it physically feel good to you in any way (doesn't just have to be genital)?