Scarleteen

So I like someone, and I know it's totally one sided. What do I do to get this person off my mind? What are some distractions to think about, or do? Also what are values? Are values the things I want in a relationship from the person? Or are values certain types of traits that I want from someone?

The person that I like, honestly if i really think about, does not seem like someone I'd expect to like or end up at all with. We are two very different people. is that the thing about relationships, how you'll like someone, you wouldn't expect to like? idk. He likes to engage in law breaking activities, goes overboard with alcohol, has been locked up. Typing this out makes him seem like a total bad guy, but i don't know him that well and he might not even be that bad, it just seems like its perceived that way. From his friends' and families' perspectives, he's a loving person.

Anyway, I know that this is just a random crush that makes no sense. I've never been in a romantic/dating relationship, and I won't be pursuing anything like that until I'm ready. But what should i do to prepare myself if i ever find myself wanting to pursue something like that with someone? I don't want to just jump in a relationship with someone just because they're making me feel all these good things.

I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with crushing on someone when you know it's one-sided, or thinking about them often; sometimes it can feel good to have a crush even when you know it isn't going to turn into anything more than that. If you find that you're thinking about this person so much that you can't focus on anything else, though, it might be good to find ways to dial back the amount of time and mental energy you're spending on thoughts of them. You could try talking with friends (about something other than your crush!), doing some exercise or other physical activity, reading or blasting your favorite music; really anything that can keep your mind occupied or that you have to focus on can be a way to distract yourself from thinking about this one person.

People might use the word "values" to describe slightly different things, but in general I think when we're talking about your relationship preferences, values are relationship attributes or attitudes you find important or essential: things you want to prioritize. You might say your values are open communication, a focus on growing together, making sure to respect each other's feelings and boundaries, etc.

When it comes to preparing yourself for pursuing a relationship with someone, I think it's great to give it some thought before jumping right into things. We have a couple articles that talk a bit about how to think about and build the types of relationships that will work best for you; maybe you could give them a read and see if you have more questions afterwards; I'd be happy to talk more about any other questions you have.
Here are those articles: Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models & Hello, Sailor! How to Build, Board and Navigate a Healthy Relationship.