Sexually Bored

[QwerTyQ]

So I'm not exactly sure if its appropriate to ask this here, but I guess I will anyways haha. So as the topic says, I'm sexually bored lol. The sexual activity I usually do is masturbation, and I usually just rub my clit while I watch porn until I orgasm but that's usually it. Sometimes I have stimulated my anus while masturbating and/ or inserted it inside, which has been good, and other times I have inserted my finger into my vagina which is okay but vaginal stimulation doesn't do anything for me. I've been doing those same things for a long time now, and have watched the same porn, so it's kind of boring now. It's just not very exciting anymore like when I first started. I would love to explore using toys and stuff but I can't yet because I'm underaged and I don't feel exactly safe sneakily ordering one online until I am more financially independent from my parents. I also don't have any sexual partners and am only comfortable with sex within a relationship so I basically don't have any outlets for sexual arousal and physical intimacy besides myself. Any advice?

[Heather]

It's okay to ask things like this here.

I think that in some ways, we just can't expect for sexual things to stay as exciting as they are when they are brand new to us, just like we're probably not going to find foods or movies or games, etc. as exciting the 300th time as they were the first few times.

However, one thing we know that's generally true about human sexuality is that when people do the exact same things the exact same ways for a long time, it does tend to get old. Novelty is generally something that, to one degree or another, our sexualities crave. So, you do want to try to mix it up a bit if you want to keep things feeling exciting.

In your case, that might be experimenting with something besides your hands with masturbation. We've got an article here that might help you out: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition.

You might also think about trying masturbation without porn, and going with your imagination instead, or going for a different kind of sexual media, whether that's about reading written sexual material or changing up the kind of thing you're watching (personally, I'll always put in a strong vote for the first, since produced sexual material usually tends to be pretty predictable and boring and surfacey no matter what, whereas our imaginations are pretty darn limitless).

Too, did you want to start exploring dating to seek out sexual partnership? Mind, you'll obviously want more of a motivation than to appease boredom, since that's about whole other people, but I figured I'd ask.

[QwerTyQ]

Thanks for the article link. I've tried sexual fantasies with my imagination but it just isn't vivid enough for me to enjoy it. Writing something down in my journal is better for me, but besides what porn I masturbate to I haven't found any other sexual media that I am comfortable/ feel into masturbating to. Everything else I find is just nice to think about or hear. I'm a very tactile person so I imagine if I were in a sexual partnership with someone I would have a lot more to get off to. But if I were to get involved in a sexual partnership with someone it would be within a romantic relationship because that's where I'm comfortable doing that right now. Unfortunately, there's no one around me that I'm interested in that's interested in me. It also kind of sucks a little bit more for me that it's like this because I am a touch oriented person who enjoys physical intimacy.

[al]

Hi QwerTyQ,

One thing that popped into my mind based on what you said about being very "tactile" is about switching up the physical sensations that you're experiencing a little bit. Masturbating in the shower or bath can feel relaxing and nice, as well as switching up the positions you're in or the clothes you do and don't wear while you're doing it. I've also heard of folks incorporating things like ice or warm candle wax as a way to play with sensations and fantasize in a way that doesn't involve another person.

[QwerTyQ]

Yeah I could try experimenting with stuff like that, thanks for the suggestion.