Scarleteen

Hi! So I am a17 year old female and about 2 years ago I found my interest in BDSM, but only recently have I been really thinking about where I fit. I definitely think I have a kink and the dom/sub is something that really turns me on. I feel like I identify more as a sub, but can I even say that when the farthest I have ever gone is masturbated (sometimes with a dildo).
Also, I have grown up in a Judeo-Christian home, so I’m expected to wait till marriage and, although my parents have always been open for sexually based questions, I don’t think they’d be receptive to this type of “thing” at all. I have to hide my packages that come in full of my erotica books, and lie saying that I’m getting some early holiday shopping done.
I guess I just don’t know if I do end up in a relationship or a marriage, if I’ll have to settle for vanilla sex/ relationship or if I’ll even be able to be happy with that. I mean how do you find a person, that’s the way you are, AND is into kinky stuff? I feel like my chances are slim.
I know this is a bit long, and Im probably asking to many vague questions, but I’m just confused and, I guess, I’m wondering if I am too weird for wanting these things at this point in my life?

Hi AlexP, and welcome to Scarleteen.

There's nothing wrong with thinking about BDSM and other sexual situations, whether or not you've been sexual with someone else or not.
There are a whole lot of sexual preferences out there, and part of growing up and experiencing sexuality with others is about figuring out your own preferences and how they match up with others'. You shouldn't have to feel like you're settling by being with someone that you really don't feel compatible with, and finding someone that does feel right (or right now) takes some time!