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how to break it off
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- newbie
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2019 2:45 am
- Age: 20
- Awesomeness Quotient: my personality
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: straight
- Location: brisbane
how to break it off
i have a bf and we’ve been together for almost 5 months ( this is my first relationship). recently i’ve noticed that i’m not putting in nearly as much effort into the relationship as he does and i was blaming it on school, family and friend stuff but i just think i’ve lost feelings for him. i don’t feel anything when we kiss, no want to go further with him. he’s a little controlling but aside from that, he hasn’t done anything wrong, which is why i feel so bad about it. but i’ve been having trouble sleeping and feel sick most times when i think about it. i honestly don’t think i am in the right place to have a relationship right now but i have no idea how to break it off with him. we also share the same friendship group and our families are very close, so i don’t want it to be awkward.
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- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
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- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: how to break it off
Hi louise,
It can be tough to consider breaking up when you feel like the other person hasn't done anything wrong, but the truth is that people break up all the time due to just not being into each other. And it sounds like you know that this relationship just isn't right for you.
When it comes to ending things, being gentle but honest is probably the way to go. You can even tell him what you told us, which is that you're not in the right place for a relationship. Does that feel doable to you? And with your friend group, are you the first pair in your group to date and then break up? Or has that happened among your friends before?
It can be tough to consider breaking up when you feel like the other person hasn't done anything wrong, but the truth is that people break up all the time due to just not being into each other. And it sounds like you know that this relationship just isn't right for you.
When it comes to ending things, being gentle but honest is probably the way to go. You can even tell him what you told us, which is that you're not in the right place for a relationship. Does that feel doable to you? And with your friend group, are you the first pair in your group to date and then break up? Or has that happened among your friends before?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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