Scarleteen

Last weekend I went out with my friend and her friend. I ended up drinking a lot more than I should have and made a big mistake as a result. I let a guy take advantage of me that night because I drank too much and I felt out of control. Now I feel like a terrible person as I have a boyfriend. I wouldn’t dare tell him because I am worried that he will break up with me. This is my first boyfriend as well, I have no intentions to cheat on him. I am trying to move on from this but it is really bothering me inside. I can’t stop blaming myself

Hi Sedna,

This sounds like a scary situation to be in, I'm sorry. Can I double check that I'm understanding you properly? It sounds like you were sexually assaulted when you were too drunk to consent, is that right?

It's common for victims of sexual assault to feel some kind of guilt, but it's never your fault, it's the fault of the person who chose to do this to you. I'm hearing you say that you "let" this happen, but sex isn't about one person doing something and the other passively "letting" them, it's about two people both actively choosing to do something together, and being sexually assaulted is a very different thing from cheating. Does that make sense?

How can we best support you right now? Do you want to talk to your boyfriend about this?