STD
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Itsangie09
- not a newbie
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STD
Hi so I have a question, how can an std be passed if both people have not been exposed to any stds and they are both virgins? Like can an std be created by two people even if they haven’t been exposed to one?
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
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Re: STD
No. People don't create STIs (I prefer that term to STDs, myself), nor does sex. Those kinds of infections are called STIs because they are most often sexually transmitted.
If two people have never had ANY kind of intimate contact with other people -- and with some infections that can be transmitted sexually, like Herpes or public lice, that doesn't have to mean genital sex (or assault), it can be things like kissing or laying in bed together -- and neither of them contracted any of the STIs that can be transmitted at birth, then no, those people don't likely have any STIs they can transmit.
The tricky thing with making this about "virgins" is that that means different things to different people. To a lot of people, for example, "virgins" means people who have had penis-in-vagina intercourse, but doesn't acknowledge other kinds of sex like oral sex, which can also transmit infections. Too, a lot of people aren't honest about their sexual history and feel pressure to be a virgin, so might say they haven't had any sexual contact when they have, especially in interactions where pressure-ful, stigmatizing frameworks like virginity are in the mix.
If two people have never had ANY kind of intimate contact with other people -- and with some infections that can be transmitted sexually, like Herpes or public lice, that doesn't have to mean genital sex (or assault), it can be things like kissing or laying in bed together -- and neither of them contracted any of the STIs that can be transmitted at birth, then no, those people don't likely have any STIs they can transmit.
The tricky thing with making this about "virgins" is that that means different things to different people. To a lot of people, for example, "virgins" means people who have had penis-in-vagina intercourse, but doesn't acknowledge other kinds of sex like oral sex, which can also transmit infections. Too, a lot of people aren't honest about their sexual history and feel pressure to be a virgin, so might say they haven't had any sexual contact when they have, especially in interactions where pressure-ful, stigmatizing frameworks like virginity are in the mix.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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Itsangie09
- not a newbie
- Posts: 42
- Joined: Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:57 pm
- Age: 22
- Pronouns: She/her
- Location: Utah
Re: STD
So if two people were to have sex that haven’t had sex before but have had oral sex with each other could they be able to transmit any STIs?
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Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9703
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: STD
Just so we're clear, oral sex IS sex. It's no more or less a kind of sex than intercourse. Manual sex (genital sex with hands) also sex. Lots of things are sex both from an experiential perspective but also from a health perspective. Intercourse is just one kind of sex, not the only kind.
If two people having oral sex have ONLY ever been physically intimate (again, this isn't just about genital sex) with each other, and both came to that oral sex without any STIs, then no, they couldn't transmit any STIs, because they didn't have them. If either or both of those two people came to oral sex together with any active STIs -- however they got them -- then yes, they could transmit them.
I think the better, clearer way to think about this isn't about who has had sex before or not -- since that's so vague and murky and often arbitrary -- but who does or doesn't have an STI to pass on in the first place, a thing we can only find out accurately through testing, not by knowing what activities someone has or hasn't been part of. Make sense?
If two people having oral sex have ONLY ever been physically intimate (again, this isn't just about genital sex) with each other, and both came to that oral sex without any STIs, then no, they couldn't transmit any STIs, because they didn't have them. If either or both of those two people came to oral sex together with any active STIs -- however they got them -- then yes, they could transmit them.
I think the better, clearer way to think about this isn't about who has had sex before or not -- since that's so vague and murky and often arbitrary -- but who does or doesn't have an STI to pass on in the first place, a thing we can only find out accurately through testing, not by knowing what activities someone has or hasn't been part of. Make sense?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead