Scarleteen

Ever since u was 11yr and discovered what masturbation was, I've noticed my penis had not grown, like at all. At first there wasn't cum but gradually there was more and whiter. So there's but an issue with hitting puberty I guess. Im 6'6 so I don't think you can say it hasn't happened.

Anyway, I've lost my virginity but am extremely shy now to go out with 4"ish errect. I'm not sure if I've just got to wait longer? I play multiply sports and lift weights do I'm pretty athletic.

Lastly, should I be this shy about my penis? I'm a big guy so it really doesn't look good. It's bringing down my self-esteem and makes me feel like I don't have much to live for if my penis is too small to have sex with.
Any advice/help would be nice.

Hi there cannawizard, and welcome to Scarleteen.

You may still experience growth (as lots of people's bodies continue to grow and change throughout even their early 20's). This is a very common concern for young people who have penises - do they look okay, are they big enough, are they attractive enough, etc. Honestly, that's a concern for lot of young people, period, regardless of their anatomy. In fact, we have a whole article about this that you might find helpful to read: Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape/Size Lowdown.

You mentioned that you lost your virginity - how was that experience? Was the person that you were with supportive and appreciative of your body the way that it is, or do you think it made you feel more self-conscious? Is it the type of thing that you are interested in doing again, with or without that person?

In terms of those feelings of shyness, I think some of it is to be expected. Developing a positive relationship with your body (particularly sexual parts of your body!) as it grows and changes (and doesn't grow and doesn't change) is kind of a lifelong process! Often it doesn't happen overnight, or if we just will ourselves forcefully to love ourselves, but rather with time, and exposure to people, images, stories, and experiences that celebrate the diversity of all types of bodies and organs and ways of being.

al wrote:Hi there cannawizard, and welcome to Scarleteen.

You may still experience growth (as lots of people's bodies continue to grow and change throughout even their early 20's). This is a very common concern for young people who have penises - do they look okay, are they big enough, are they attractive enough, etc. Honestly, that's a concern for lot of young people, period, regardless of their anatomy. In fact, we have a whole article about this that you might find helpful to read: Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape/Size Lowdown.

You mentioned that you lost your virginity - how was that experience? Was the person that you were with supportive and appreciative of your body the way that it is, or do you think it made you feel more self-conscious? Is it the type of thing that you are interested in doing again, with or without that person?

In terms of those feelings of shyness, I think some of it is to be expected. Developing a positive relationship with your body (particularly sexual parts of your body!) as it grows and changes (and doesn't grow and doesn't change) is kind of a lifelong process! Often it doesn't happen overnight, or if we just will ourselves forcefully to love ourselves, but rather with time, and exposure to people, images, stories, and experiences that celebrate the diversity of all types of bodies and organs and ways of being.

I enjoyed having sex, but I felt like I wasny pleasing her because she would say things like are you done, how much longer is it going to take. We started together for a couple more months and after breaking up I became more aware of my penis and felt that it was smaller and noticed and compared over the years that it's not growing. I'm eighteen and want to be able to get close to someone but I feel that I'm unable to. Either id be shamed or so embarrassed. Being a bigger guy too i feel girls would expect something bigger than 4in

Hi Cannawizard,

With your previous partner, it actually sounds like that had more to do with one or both of you having a hard time communicating about what feels good, rather than being about your penis size. But, I can definitely see how feeling like a partner wasn't enjoying themselves could leave you self-conscious. When she said those things, how did you respond? Did the two of you talk about the things that felt good to you, either before or during sex?

As far as people expecting you to have a certain sized penis because of your height, someone who's going to be a good partner for you is someone who understands that penises come in all shapes and sizes, and that the size isn't automatically proportional to a person's height.

Too, as that article points out, the most sensitive parts of the vagina are in the first third of it, or on the outside (like the visible part of the clitoris). That's part of why most people with vaginas need more than just vaginal sex to orgasm. It may also help to remember that a penis is simply one tool of many when it comes to pleasing a partner; hands, mouths, and sex toys can all be part of the experience as well. Does that make sense?