Very lonely and dependant, really want a relationship but socially awkward.

[dependantdragon]

Hi, I'm Flamy (not my real name obviously), and I'm autistic and have anxiety. I dropped out of high school after my freshman year because there were no schools around that had the tools to help me cope with student life (I would be a junior now if I was still in school). We've been semi-successfully doing homeschooling and trying to find a good pace for me since I was studying with the other "special ed" students at a lower level (I'm pretty smart, but due to complications I haven't been progressing at all). My parents are trying to encourage me to hang out with my one friend/go to events where I can interact with peers etc. and I agree with them, but social stuff can be really exhausting for me. On top of all that, I'm pretty hypersexual and masturbate almost daily (is that too much? Not like all day or anything, but usually once a day unless I'm really tired at night) and also have trust issues with my parents (they do a lot of things that aren't the best for me, including trying to stop me from looking at NSFW stuff) and my one sibling that lives at home is constantly tired from work and also have problems with social stuff so any interactions we have are kind of laid back, so I'm starving for real relationships. I have a lot of good online friends, but there's a lot of things you can't get from talking with people online that a person needs to fulfill the desire for human interaction. I'm scared that I won't get the chance to make any good friendships IRL, let alone romantic and/or sexual relationships. I'm also scared that I'll remain dependant on my parents forever, or at least so long that it makes life miserable, because it is pretty hard to live with them.
I meant for this to mostly be about my desire to form romantic and/or sexual relationships and my fear that I'd be unable to, but this kinda got off topic. Sorry if this is outside your expertise.

[Siân]

Hi Flamy,

This all sounds like a tough situation to be in. I think there are two things we can talk about here, one being things with your parents, and the other wanting more connections with people.

I get that high-pressure social events can be exhausting. Looking for in-person connections - for friendships and for sexual/romantic relationships - does mean meeting more people. Luckily, that doesn't have to mean big parties etc. What activities do you enjoy? Are there any groups in your local area that does them? Groups centred around relaxed activities can be a low-pressure way to meet and slowly get to know people - and you have a thing that you're all there to do which means you don't have to be talking all the time, and you have something to talk about. Maybe it's an art group, or board- or role-playing games or something else entirely. Does that sound like something that might work for you?

In the meantime, you say that it's hard living with your parents. In what way? Perhaps it's worth thinking about what would make it easier, and seeing if you can start having some conversations with them about that - we can help you plan for those conversations too. I'm not promising that things will change over night, but it's worth trying.

Also, as I mentioned in your other thread, this is a perfectly healthy and normal amount of masturbation.

What do you think?