I wish I was a boy
Posted: Sun Sep 22, 2019 1:43 pm
Hey, I’ve never posted on here so idk what I’m doing lol. I’m just venting.
I wish I was born a guy. I spend literal hours imagining what my life would be like if I was born a guy. If I could start my life over again as a guy, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I go into these depressive episodes for weeks because I’m not a guy, and I can’t stand hanging out with guys cause I get so jealous of them. I feel deep down that I’m a guy, but I hate calling myself trans because I don’t want to transition for three main (and stupid) reasons:
a) I’m short and pretty. I like being attractive, and I wouldn’t make an attractive guy at all. I’m far too short- I’m mistaken for a guy pretty often, but never as a 17-year old guy. I’d look 12 all the time, I wouldn’t be a good-looking guy and I don’t know if I can give up the one thing holding up my self esteem. This sounds arrogant and ridiculous but it’s just the truth.
b) It would break my mums heart. She’s an angel, but she’d never understand. My family have a lot of respect for me and I am deeply dependent on their approval. It would be horrible to lose that.
c) I make a good lesbian. A lot of girls are attracted to me, everybody thinks I’m a lesbian and I’ve worked hard so that people are cool with it and I’m comfortable in it.
So, to sum up- I’m trans. I know I’m a guy. I don’t want to be, but I am. I have a nice, comfortable life thats going well so far and transitioning would ruin it. I’ll never transition. How do I get over this? Is there anything I can do, or do I just keep trying to forget about it?
I wish I was born a guy. I spend literal hours imagining what my life would be like if I was born a guy. If I could start my life over again as a guy, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I go into these depressive episodes for weeks because I’m not a guy, and I can’t stand hanging out with guys cause I get so jealous of them. I feel deep down that I’m a guy, but I hate calling myself trans because I don’t want to transition for three main (and stupid) reasons:
a) I’m short and pretty. I like being attractive, and I wouldn’t make an attractive guy at all. I’m far too short- I’m mistaken for a guy pretty often, but never as a 17-year old guy. I’d look 12 all the time, I wouldn’t be a good-looking guy and I don’t know if I can give up the one thing holding up my self esteem. This sounds arrogant and ridiculous but it’s just the truth.
b) It would break my mums heart. She’s an angel, but she’d never understand. My family have a lot of respect for me and I am deeply dependent on their approval. It would be horrible to lose that.
c) I make a good lesbian. A lot of girls are attracted to me, everybody thinks I’m a lesbian and I’ve worked hard so that people are cool with it and I’m comfortable in it.
So, to sum up- I’m trans. I know I’m a guy. I don’t want to be, but I am. I have a nice, comfortable life thats going well so far and transitioning would ruin it. I’ll never transition. How do I get over this? Is there anything I can do, or do I just keep trying to forget about it?