Scarleteen

Hi I am new to this forum. I created an account a while ago but haven't used it until now.

I just wanted to say Hi. I am female from the USA. I am in my 20s. My hobbies are drawing, writing, knitting, reading, listening to music.

I am glad I found this website. I feel alone all the time. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I have no friends.

I have depression and anxiety and struggling with self harm. I am having problems with family members. I have been questioning my sexuality since high school and its really difficult.

I hope to get advice and find someone to talk to.

Hi Shypixie,

We're glad you found us as well!

It sounds like you're dealing with a really rough combination of things. Of those issues you mentioned, is there one that it would be most helpful for us to talk about first?

I do want to ask, are you getting any kind of formal, professional support around the depression and anxiety (especially the self-harm component)? If not, is that something you're open to exploring?

Sam W wrote:Hi Shypixie,

We're glad you found us as well!

It sounds like you're dealing with a really rough combination of things. Of those issues you mentioned, is there one that it would be most helpful for us to talk about first?

I do want to ask, are you getting any kind of formal, professional support around the depression and anxiety (especially the self-harm component)? If not, is that something you're open to exploring?

Hello I do see a doctor and take medications for my depression and anxiety.

I'm not getting any help for self harm. I have a lot of thoughts and urges. I promised my mom I wouldn't do it. But its really hard not to. Sometimes I harm myself anyway.

Glad to hear you're receiving at least some support. If that doctor isn't someone like a counselor or therapist, then a sound next step would be to look into that kind of resource. That way, you have a space where you can address those self-harm urges with someone who is trained to help you address them. Mental health is out of the scope of what we can address, but we're more than happy to help you locate resources that can help you out. For instance, have you ever called a helpline when you felt those self-harm urges coming on?

I do want to check, because self-harm urges can often go hand in hand with suicidal ideation, have you had any thoughts about death or dying?

You mentioned you're having problems with family members. Can you tell me a little more about that?

With questioning our orientation, is that something that's a source of stress for you? If so, why?

Sam W wrote:Glad to hear you're receiving at least some support. If that doctor isn't someone like a counselor or therapist, then a sound next step would be to look into that kind of resource. That way, you have a space where you can address those self-harm urges with someone who is trained to help you address them. Mental health is out of the scope of what we can address, but we're more than happy to help you locate resources that can help you out. For instance, have you ever called a helpline when you felt those self-harm urges coming on?

I do want to check, because self-harm urges can often go hand in hand with suicidal ideation, have you had any thoughts about death or dying?

You mentioned you're having problems with family members. Can you tell me a little more about that?

With questioning our orientation, is that something that's a source of stress for you? If so, why?

No I haven't called a helpline because I am a very shy person and I don't like talking on the phone. No I am not having any suicidal thoughts.

My older sister suspects that I'm not straight. She is always bullying me and saying homophobic and mean things about Lgbtq people.

My mom never wants to talk to me about anything. I used to try talking to her about sexuality but I don't try to talk to her anymore because she doesn't listen or ignores me or gets angry at me. I think shes against lgbtq people too. I don't think she understands it at all.

I have been questioning since high school. Yes it makes me really stressed, anxious, and depressed. I think I'm not straight. But I don't know what I am. Also I'm worried and afraid that my family and everyone will hate me and that my family would force me to be straight or date/marry someone that I don't want to.

Hi shypixie,

I hear you - I'm shy on the phone, too! Fortunately there are other resources that you can use via text. If you're finding yourself in crisis, or thinking about self-harming, you can reach out to the Crisis Text Line (https://www.crisistextline.org/) by texting to 741741 (in the USA).

I'm really sorry to hear your family hasn't been welcoming of your sexuality, or open to talk about it. Your sexuality is 100% valid and okay - even if you're questioning and aren't quite sure exactly what it is yet. Figuring yourself out can take time, and it's normal for us to question ourselves, especially when young. People question their sexuality for all kinds of reasons. This article has some really wonderful information about why people question, what to say to other people about it, and generally lots about how you're okay the way you are. "Q is for Questioning"

There are also a series of articles on the site called "The Answers (For Now)" that are all about folks who have been questioning aspects of their sexuality. Those stories could be helpful, too.

Do you still live with your family, or separately from them? And either way - I know it can be tough as a shy person to find friends, but I wonder if you've considered finding a local group (or an online group) of LGBTQ+ folks? Many of them have had similar experiences, and might be able to offer you support and understanding. Or maybe a group focused on some of your hobbies (you sound like a really creative person!) where you could make some new friends?

birds_chirping wrote:Hi shypixie,

I hear you - I'm shy on the phone, too! Fortunately there are other resources that you can use via text. If you're finding yourself in crisis, or thinking about self-harming, you can reach out to the Crisis Text Line (https://www.crisistextline.org/) by texting to 741741 (in the USA).

I'm really sorry to hear your family hasn't been welcoming of your sexuality, or open to talk about it. Your sexuality is 100% valid and okay - even if you're questioning and aren't quite sure exactly what it is yet. Figuring yourself out can take time, and it's normal for us to question ourselves, especially when young. People question their sexuality for all kinds of reasons. This article has some really wonderful information about why people question, what to say to other people about it, and generally lots about how you're okay the way you are. "Q is for Questioning"

There are also a series of articles on the site called "The Answers (For Now)" that are all about folks who have been questioning aspects of their sexuality. Those stories could be helpful, too.

Do you still live with your family, or separately from them? And either way - I know it can be tough as a shy person to find friends, but I wonder if you've considered finding a local group (or an online group) of LGBTQ+ folks? Many of them have had similar experiences, and might be able to offer you support and understanding. Or maybe a group focused on some of your hobbies (you sound like a really creative person!) where you could make some new friends?

Hi
Thanks.
I still live with my family. I think that joining a group would be nice!

That sounds like a good idea! Do you need any help brainstorming where to look for online or in-person groups to investigate?

Mo wrote:That sounds like a good idea! Do you need any help brainstorming where to look for online or in-person groups to investigate?

Hi where can I find groups to join online? And where can I find groups where I live?

Okay! In terms of in-person groups, are you comfortable giving us your state or zipcode so we can help you locate them (it's okay if not)? You can also "LGBT groups" plus your location and see what comes up as a resource.

For online groups, there are few different ones to try. This talkline has multiple options that don't require actually being on the phone: https://www.glbthotline.org/youth-talkline.html. This one from 7 cups of tea may also match your needs: https://www.7cups.com/lgbtq-chat-room/. And, of course, you're more than welcome to keep building community here. You can ask questions of us, but there's also plenty of room for you to ask for support or advice from other users who are also members of the LGBTQA community.

Sam W wrote:Okay! In terms of in-person groups, are you comfortable giving us your state or zipcode so we can help you locate them (it's okay if not)? You can also "LGBT groups" plus your location and see what comes up as a resource.

For online groups, there are few different ones to try. This talkline has multiple options that don't require actually being on the phone: https://www.glbthotline.org/youth-talkline.html. This one from 7 cups of tea may also match your needs: https://www.7cups.com/lgbtq-chat-room/. And, of course, you're more than welcome to keep building community here. You can ask questions of us, but there's also plenty of room for you to ask for support or advice from other users who are also members of the LGBTQA community.

Thank you so much for these resources.
I will check them out! And I will keep posting on this forum too!

You're so welcome!