OCD may be hurting my future sexual endeavors?

[Hittvshowlost]

I’m a queer 19 y/o girl, and I have only ever been with a guy before. I’m talking to this girl now that I really really really like but I’m incredibly scared for what could happen as the relationship may progress to a sexual stage. I had no issue performing oral sex on a penis, but my OCD makes me utterly disgusted by obvious bodily fluids (my ex’s precum was discreet enough that it never bothered me much). Unfortunately vaginas have much more fluid and I really don’t know if My brain can handle introducing that into my mouth. I’m really scared that I won’t be able to reciprocate oral sex when she may want me to and where I really want to, but just can’t. Does this make me a horrible partner? How do I combat this????

[Mo]

Hi there, Hittvshowlost, and welcome to Scarleteen.
First off, having OCD doesn't make you a terrible partner! Plenty of folks with OCD are wonderful sexual and romantic partners, and not being comfortable with certain types of sex doesn't make you a bad or inconsiderate sexual partner.
If you're currently receiving treatment for your OCD, this is something you could bring up if you want to try and work on feeling more comfortable with bodily fluids; I don't think you need to try and push yourself to be okay with them, but if it is something you'd like to work on, that is an option. Is that a conversation you feel comfortable having with anyone you're currently receiving treatment from?
In the meantime, though, you may find dental dams to be a really helpful tool; they provide a barrier between the vulva and a partner's mouth during oral sex. We have some more information about dental dams here: All the Barriers! All the Time!