Scarleteen

Ok so I'm 15, and I was well educated when growing up, as such I am well aware of how important sex is, the basic care that has to be taken and the importance of doing it with someone you love and trust.
Knowing that I haven't found the right one, yet with sexual urges and curiosities, I started actively masturbating about two years ago, I assume it is normal and ok as long as I take precaution and keep a very good hygiene, as well as I learned kids can start exploring their private parts since very young, however, recently I've been wanting something more, at first I ignored it but these feelings have been just growing on me, I'm definitely not ready to do it with an actual person yet, and I don't hope to be any soon, but dildo's have been sounding very convenient for me, the thought of that is scary.
You see, like I mentioned before (even if I'm not 100% sure what I learned is right) I believe it is quite common for immature people to masturbate, so I never assimilated masturbation as a mature thing to do, of course you gotta be responsible while doing, but you can do such still very innocent, so for the time I've been doing that I still felt like if I was just having "fun", but now that I'm considering getting a toy specifically for the purpose of satisfying a sexual desire, and that attitude and way of thinking got me by surprise, the thoughts have been very appealing and good until I actually paid attention to it.

My issue is, I'm scared of such thoughts and feelings, I know these things are wise to be talked with parents and I'm lucky to have very open minded ones that I can talk about anything with, but I'm afraid talking about such desires will change their view on me from their little girl to a more mature person ready to try such things, and is not just them, I'm afraid of changing my own view on myself, I still see myself as very innocent but now all of that is changing, I have desires and sincerely am starting to get kind of desperate, but the idea of this maturity scares me.
I am also afraid that my parents discover this in a bad unhealthy way, making them loose some trust in me, as well it is a shocking thing, they are most likely to understand and respect such changes after some "digestion" of such information, but at first I think it will shock them for me to come up with such a way of thinking they never seen before, is something new and it takes adjusting, even I need to adjust.

I feel like I need advice, but what I mostly want to know is:
Are all these sexual feelings are actually normal? Is it normal for this type of maturity to come at age 15? Should I talk to my parents about this and why?
I feel like my parents should at least know about such changes, however I don't even know if this changes are normal to begin with.

Thanks for your patience in reading this.

Hi ToucanJaguar,

So, everything you're experiencing is really common and totally okay. I think you were exposed to some incorrect information about masturbation, and that's part of why this is causing you so much anxiety. People of all ages (and all maturity levels) masturbate. In fact, pretty much every person has masturbated or will masturbate during their lives. Some people buy sex toys to use during masturbation, and that's also a totally okay thing to do. Masturbating is actually a positive thing in many way: it feels good, it helps us get to know our bodies, it can relieve stress, and all sorts of things. I'm going to give you this piece to read, since it talks about masturbation in a lot more detail: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation

Too, you're smack in the middle of puberty. That's a time where an increase in sexual thoughts and feelings is more or less expected. You mention wanting to talk to your parents about this. Is there something in particular you're hoping to get out of that conversation? Or is it more that you feel like they should know what's going on?