Scarleteen

So I've never used tampons or menstrual cups and I'm not sexually active yet. I want to try tampons and menstrual cups, because pads are making me uncomfortable sometimes.

I did some exploration with a mirror and I found that my vaginal opening is very small, just enough for a finger to get in. I tried this with lube and after/during orgasm by clit stimulation I cannot insert more than one finger. Should I go to the OBYN or is this normal?

Also, In the near future I'll probably get a pap smear and I'm totally terrified that the small vaginal opening will be an issue, even if it's a pediatric speculum.

hi,

this is normal for a lot of people who are younger or who aren't sexually active. this was my experience for a really long time and what worked well for me was to work up to it when i felt like it. if you make it a chore / something you feel you have to do, you'll be too tense and it will be harder. it takes awhile but remember that it is a muscle and is capable of plenty of flexibility. of course if you feel something is wrong speaking to a doctor can help. good luck :3

The above advice about relaxing and making it something fun is great advice!

For my own comments, just a note that you can use tampons and even menstrual cups even with a small opening. I would suggest starting with tampons before cups just for ease of use. Look for tampons that mention something like beginner, sleek, glide, or lite in their description. I personally like Kotex for a lot of reasons (though I'm not familiar with what all Peru offers), so I would suggest them if possible.

As for the pap, ask your doctor lots of questions and tell them how nervous you are. If they don't take you seriously, I suggest walking out and making an appointment with another doctor. If a doctor doesn't take your anxieties seriously, that's a red flag. A doctor should be willing to work with you to calm you down. As well, if anything does hurt and you need to stop, you want a doctor who will listen to that.
I was also very nervous for my first pap, but I finally found a doctor who really cared for my comfort, showed me all the tools she would use and what they were for before doing anything, offered me anti-anxiety meds if I wanted, and kept checking in with how I was doing during the exam. She made me feel respected and listened to, and the exam went perfectly fine as a result. Speculums are built at a variety of sizes specifically due to reasons such as this, so I bet there's a speculum that would work just fine for you, especially combined with a good doctor who cares about your comfort.

I also want to add that so often, people's ideas about the vaginal opening and its size aren't realistic. (Pediatric speculums are also probably smaller than you think, if you haven't seen one before.)

For instance, it's very typical for the vaginal opening to only accommodate a finger comfortably at first, and by at first, I mean each time you do it, not at a stage of your life. For people who want more than that in there -- or something larger -- it's not uncommon to have to spend a little time working up further. Too, if you feel uncomfortable about your vagina in any way -- including feeling fearful, like with worries you might hurt yourself, which are pretty common with younger people -- then it's typical for the vagina to kind of clamp up rather than for the muscles and tissues of the vagina and its opening to relax.

Understand, too, that our vaginas and their openings are mostly closed unless something is inside them, so if you're looking in a mirror and expecting to see a very wide open opening, know that's just not how vaginal openings generally look for anyone most of the time.