i can't get wet

[cosmicdaisy]

this is kind of embarrassing but this site is a safe space, so... i'm a 16y/o female and i have never gotten wet in my life. i've always touched myself from a young age out of curiosity but even now i still get no pleasure from it, even clitoral stimulation. i've tried so hard for the last few years and even when i feel aroused i just cannot get wet and i've tried using spit as lube but just cannot get a finger in there at all. i'm not sure if i'm just doing it wrong or there's something wrong with my body, but i have no idea how i would bring it up to my mother in order to see a gynecologist if that's the case.

[al]

Hi there cosmicdaisy, and welcome to Scarleteen!

I'm sorry to hear that you're not able to find much pleasure in masturbation. It makes sense that you aren't getting wet if it doesn't feel that pleasurable, because lubrication is something that usually goes hand in hand with arousal and pleasure. (You can read more about how that happens in Sexual Response & Orgasm: A User's Guide.)
I wonder if how long you've struggled with this has an impact as well - if you've been trying to make something happen for years, but found no success, I can imagine it would feel like there was a pressure to perform whenever you sat down to try it. Do you find yourself thinking about whether you can/can't achieve pleasure/wetness when you're masturbating, or is it fairly easy to concentrate? What do you find yourself thinking or fantasizing about in those moments?

In terms of what you said about putting your finger inside of yourself - if you're not feeling much pleasure, it makes sense that it would be difficult to insert anything. The opening of the walls and vagina are surrounded by pelvic muscles, which are very good at tensing up when we're feeling anxious, tense, or frightened. (They're the ones that connect the torso and legs, so they're deep in there and are considered some of our core muscles!)

I was going to ask - are you trying for insertion because it's something that you feel like you should do, or something that you want to do? If it's the latter, we can go from there, but I want to stress that if you're not actually all that excited about that idea, you absolutely don't have to do it. Masturbation is all about individuals exploring things that do and don't feel good to them, with the ultimate goal of doing what feels good. There's no "wrong" way to do it, other than trying to force yourself to fit into the mold of what you think it should look like. With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body is another good article that talks about the connection between the brain and body.

Are there ways of masturbating or being sexual with yourself that you do find pleasurable, or like to do?

Two more things I wanted to add:
1) You might also find Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation helpful!
2) I'm really glad to hear that you find this site to be a safe space! You deserve to have spaces online (and offline!) to talk about things that are personal and get answers to questions you might not be able to ask people you know.