Scarleteen

So I like this one person. I told my friend and he later told them that I like them. She knows now that I like her. This has made me too scared to go up and talk to her. He has even dragged me over to her in an effort to make me talk to her, he's done this like 2 or 3 times. But every time, I've just walked away because I'm so scared and nervous. He told her like 3 months ago. I haven't said a single word to her and it's eating me up inside. I feel helpless and I don't know what to do. I really want to talk to her but I have really bad anxiety and I'm worried that I'll make this situation worse. Is it too late to talk to her? Have I waited too long? Have I missed my chance to say anything? I really like her but I'm worried what she'll think of me because of how I've acted so scared and shy. Even her name has become bad karma for me. When I hear or think about it, It makes me feel sick to my stomach because of how this situation has made me feel. I really could use some advice.

Hi CluelessGuy and welcome to Scarleteen,

First things first, if your friend is still pressuring you to talk to your crush or dragging you over there to have a conversation, do you feel like you can tell him to knock it off? Because that element alone sounds like it's adding a ton of anxiety to the situation.

Speaking of anxiety, since it sounds like it's pretty intense for you, are you getting any kind of support, such as counseling, around it?

We can definitely talk about how (or even if) you want to talk to this person. But to start off with, can you give me a sense of whether you've had crushes or feelings like this for people before? Or is this a brand new experience for you?

I have told him to stop and he has. I've talked to a friend that knows her and he actually said that she was kind of annoyed about what the friend pressuring me was doing. To answer your second question, I have kind of put off going and talking to anyone about it. I find it really hard to talk to people about how I feel and I mostly jist keep it inside of me. I've had a few crushes before but never one so immediate and strong. I don't know why. It's like a subconscious thing.

I'm glad your friend is respecting your boundaries a bit more now. That's important.

As someone who lives with a lot of anxiety, trust me - keeping it inside can intensify it and make it harder to deal with over time! I would definitely consider finding someone who could help you navigate that in-person, 1:1. I have and it has helped me immensely. Do you know of any counseling resources in your area? If not, maybe we can help dig some up!

Regarding your crush - it is *so* normal to feel especially anxious, jittery, jumpy, and weird about talking to them! Being able to talk to someone you have a huge crush on can be scary, even if you've done it a hundred times before. But if she's still around, and you still have your feelings, you haven't missed your shot to tell her how you feel! Just do some thinking in advance so you know how to handle it thoughtfully if she isn't interested (or if she is!).

Thank you for the advice. This has been really weighing on me.

Happy to help <3